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#453355 - 11/12/13 05:46 PM Re: I am angry [Re: Esposa]
overwhelmed1975 Offline

Registered: 09/23/13
Posts: 25
I think we all have a right to be angry. You would be a robot if you were not angry. As a wife, I am devastated that someone hurt him as a little boy. And I think as females, it is natural that we want to "fix" and make things better for those we love even if it means putting our feelings in the back burner. The weird part is that once things start getting a little better, those ugly feelings re-surface. Its almost like you say "he seems a little better, now I can focus on me now". Those ugly feelings were always there, you just put them in a box because you wanted to be the good partner.

Esposa, you have a gift to verbalize what most if not all of us feel.

Edited by overwhelmed1975 (12/12/13 05:47 PM)

#453584 - 11/14/13 04:53 AM Re: I am angry [Re: Esposa]
pluchi Offline

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 4
Esposa, Brokenwife, I am also very angry, thanks for sharing.

I am angry at my husband that has been unfaithful to me for the last three years, with different women in different ways (physical, on internet, through whatsapp... ) I am angry at me for not leaving him so many times I thought I had to because even though I loved him he was been unfair to me, he was not loving me, he was abusing me (not physically but with his actions, with his demands, etc) I was the last in his list... I am sure that if I had left him, he would have started looking for help before.
I am angry at all the women he has been intimate with, I am angry that he was not there for me (not even on the phone as he was on a work trip) when my first baby was born (and I feel that that same night he was with someone, but he does not accept it), I am very angry at him for that. I am angry that he started to look for help just when I busted him and not before.

I am angry at me because I felt I have lost me for trying to find him, his kisses, his time, his love, his answers...

I am angry, and I am just letting it be, and I don't care if he sees me angry, because I have been looking for him for so long, trying to understand what was happening to us.

I am angry and sometimes I am happy, sometimes I don't want to get intimate with him, sometimes I do want to and I am not judging me for that (as I am supossed to be angry for what he has done to me) I am doing what I feel I want to do. I am trying to take care of myself and I am accepting all those feelings, and I accept that we are giving ourselves a chance here but this chance is real if it is fair to me as well.

Part of it is letting me feel what I feel, and if he loves me, he will understand and respect me, and let me feel...

Thanks for letting me share as well

#453846 - 11/16/13 12:52 AM Re: I am angry [Re: Esposa]
Kylie Offline

Registered: 11/15/13
Posts: 25
Brokenwife, how do you logically understand?

I logically understand too sometimes, but emotionally I am so hurt & so angry. I dont know if I care enough to understand? I very much did. But now, It doesn't feel like he cares about me at all. I cant do it all alone, give give give & receive nothing back. Not even loyalty. So, I've been very angry. And I need some help.

#454444 - 11/19/13 05:31 PM Re: I am angry [Re: Esposa]
Woundedwife Offline

Registered: 11/04/13
Posts: 1
Loc: US
Esposa, you have every right to feel angry. Your emotions matter! Hugs!

#457444 - 12/26/13 11:29 PM Re: I am angry [Re: Esposa]
Brokenwife Offline

Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 25
Kylie- Sorry I haven't been on here too much. When I say I logically understand, what I really mean is that I understand infidelity is a symptom of the abuse for some survivors. Do I understand why? Hell no! I wish a survivor could explain to me what benefit they possibly receive from acting out in this manner. It makes no sense to me! I understand drugs and alcohol because those are mind altering and could provide temporary escape. How does sleeping with someone else do that?

#457513 - 12/28/13 03:54 AM Re: I am angry [Re: Esposa]
gettingstronger Offline

Registered: 09/24/13
Posts: 317
Loc: Virginia
Hi Esposa and Brokenwife,

All I can say is I respect you for being willing to deal with this. To say you've been through hell is pretty much the understatement of the year. I don't have anything to add to the posts above, no words of wisdom, but I'm sending as much love as I can your way (both of you.)

It's ok to be mad as hell. You've been hurt. There's no denying that, and regardless of the reasons, that hurt exists and needs to be acknowledged. If it helps to vent here at MS, that's perfectly ok. I for one am glad to listen and offer whatever support I can. Take care, both of you.


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