Rebuilding Your House of Self-Respect (Men Recovering in Group from Childhood Sexual Abuse) by Tom Wilkin
I am reading this book now and finding it very helpful especially the insights about and descriptions of stages of recovery. I recognized some things from my experience in this section that I had not read elsewhere or at least stated quite so clearly and succinctly and found it beneficial to be able to systematize and apply some of his observations. Even though it is based upon specific survivors in a group therapy experience, most of it is applicable to those not involved in a group.
He lists 10 stages of recovery carefully explaining that a survivor does not always go through them in necessarily this order and sometimes cycles back through some and sometimes overlaps more than one or in more than one simultaneously. Here are the steps:
2. Confused Awareness
3. Reaching Out
4. Redefining Masculinity
7. Clarity of Feelings and Emotions
10. Moving On
Personally, once I moved out of Denial, I experienced a jumble of 2, 3, 4, and 6. It was only after I got into 7 that I was able to connect with 5. Now I still lapse into 2-6 but am more into 7-9.
There are lots of passages that I would love to quote but I am sure that different passages would speak to different people. So Ill just say I think it is worth the read.
Thanks to whoever made the book available to us for free at the Hope Springs WoR!
"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"