I'm not sure that looking at a person in the immediate aftermath of a crime, traumatic event, and a tragic loss is a fair time frame for this question or even the right one. What one does after that seems to be the better time frame to examine.
My H was 8 years old when when his abuse began and he survived in the best way he knew how. He has come dangerously close to ending his life over this and developed some other awful coping mechanisms, but he has managed to survive for 30 years now. More over, he succeeds in everything he sets out to do, so now that he is working on giving up those bad coping skills, and is working on integrating all the little compartments in his head, I have no doubt he will accomplish that as well.
I would never even think to consider that time immediately after. He was a defenseless child trying to survive. His survival hasn't always been pretty. It's been pretty damn heartbreaking, truth be told, but he is the strongest person I know, and that strength is one of the many, many, many reasons I fell in love with him.
I grieve for the child whose life was irrevocably changed, but I marvel at the man that child became.
Edited by Valkyrie (10/22/13 09:03 PM)