Welcome: The fact that you are hear shows that you have already start on a journey to recovery, starting to deal with what has happened in you life. I you can I suggest working with a therapist who has experience in working with male survivors. I wish you the best. There are a lot of good men on this site who can give you great insight.
it is and has been quite a trip thru life, as last I feel that I am in a better place, it takes work and in my case a wife the was and is forgiveing and helpful. At last a relationship has gone right, messed up three.