yeah, Chris -
dealing with it on our own doesn't work - and neither does forgetting - in the long run - as you have learned. and the confusion is perfectly understandable - a normal response to an abnormal situation.
and far from being alone - there are thousands of us in this same boat with you. welcome.
let us know how we can help.
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"