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#449615 - 10/08/13 10:31 PM Restless Night
Tanis2105 Offline

Registered: 10/16/10
Posts: 53
Loc: SW Florida
Iím finding sleep elusive tonight as Iím nervous, excited, and anxious all at once. I decided to take the advice of my T and go to the hospital treatment program she was recommending for the past month or so.
Iím thinking the fear is coming from the fact that itís out of state and being around others which Iím not use to or comfortable with. The program is 2-8 weeks more if needed (or what insurance allows) and I have been assured that I may leave at any time if I wish and the average stay is 4-5 weeks. The times I have talked to staff members (alone or with my T) they seem to be very open, understanding, and knowledgeable.
During this time Iím not sure if I will have access to the internet as we were asked that I not bring a laptop or cell phone. Iím thinking itís for a smoother 24/7 therapy with fewer distractions. They do encourage your Drís, T and family to call.
This bothers me a bit as I donít have many people in my life (my choice I guess) because even though I donít write much or reply often here (Iím sorry for that) I think of you all as my family and I take a lot of comfort in the ability to read the blogs often as they have so many question and advice which I never seem to be able to put in writing myself but I do find very helpful.
Hopefully when I return I will be able to become more active on the MS Board as well as freer in my own life. Thank you all for being an important part of this journey.

#449622 - 10/09/13 12:28 AM Re: Restless Night [Re: Tanis2105]
Onesimus75 Offline

Registered: 08/22/13
Posts: 158
Loc: Minnesota
I can totally understand being nervous. Moving is a big change, but can be a big one even if it's just for a month or so. But what if, after this, it's a little easier being around people? What if no one there betrays your trust?

It seems like so often we're behind windows watching other people have the lives that we want, but the world out there is scary and can hurt us, we know for good reason. So it's scary sometimes cracking open that window, or unlocking that door.

There are days I feel like "Why is the right thing to do always the hardest thing to do?!"

I hope that this decision works out well for you.
We are not defined by our faults, or our wounds, but by the truth within us, which nothing can take away.

#449636 - 10/09/13 07:40 AM Re: Restless Night [Re: Tanis2105]
traveler Online   confused

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4096
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio
Kevin -

As one member of the "family" to another - I wish you all the best in this adventure. It is a huge and courageous step. I hope to be able to welcome you back - stronger, healthier, and more self -confident. Please let us know how it goes.

"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"


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