Sadly, it is true. People , men and women, are usually only able to have compassion and genuine understanding to the degree that they have become comfortable with their own masculinity/femininity thru broken admission to themselves of the horrors of life. Men who are broken and have hidden places unresolved, in and out of the church, have no capacity to reach out. But yet, go forward shouting the law of "don't do this, don't do that"....Jesus called the keepers of the law (Pharisees) white washed tombs , full of dead men's bones. Jesus despised the keeper of the law, was determined to reach the core issues of the heart.....and love, and heal......perfectly.
Man is always going to be man. And every now and again we come across 'whole' men who can reach out and have compassion and understanding and identify with the agony of the heart. Thus able to provide support. Sadly, keepers of the law of the Pharisees will never be there for us ....only the keepers of the law of grace will be able to do that. and then only Jesus the perfect healer will ultimately not fail us in our brokenness, even when he seems so distant and brutal at times. but he is there and consistent in his unfathomable love for each of us.
peace to you my brothers-in-arms, the bravest of the brave.