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#448771 - 09/30/13 11:13 AM Introduction
Bill61 Offline


Registered: 09/29/13
Posts: 41
Loc: Illinois
I went to a public high school my freshman year, but my parents took me out and I was transferred to a Private Catholic high school in 1977 when I was 16 years old. I am a survivor of CSA when I was a sophomore in high school.

I had a priest as my school counselor as well as other classmates. The abuse started right away and consisted of 4-10 visits over two years. There was another CSA thing that happened in the school's gym shower. I don't want to go over any of these as I am recovering from them.

Every day I would come home from school and demand that I get sent back to the public high school. My mother would ask me why and all I could say was "I can't tell you". This would continue every day until I graduated from that school.

Over 36 years of suppressing this abuse that also included 2 suicide attempts, depression, anxiety attacks, bipolar to many to count of psychiatrists I finally got answers.

My sister was talking to a therapist who was helping her son break free of learning skills. I went to see this person on February 6, 2013 and I was shocked. I found out that my life stopped in 1977 when the abuse started and never stopped. Over 3-5 months I would come in weekly and pull more stuff from my sub-conscious.

I tried all sorts of websites for Clergy abuse but I found one called SNAP - Survivors of those Abused by Priests, but they were of no help. I contacted two attorneys to see if I had a case against the school. One attorney took my case even though the other one said that my case was outside of the SOL - Statute of Limitations. I finally had my day in court and got a nice settlement for my recovery.

I told my managers and some of my co-workers at my job of the abuse and my case. Our company had everyone watch a sexual harassment video and and sign a form that we all would avoid any confrontation with this. But 2 co-workers made poor judgements in front of me which cause flash backs to my abuse. After each episode, I had to contact a manager which resulted in suspensions. A couple of Sundays ago, I was working in my department(appliances) and I was approached by a customer. He asked if I was Bill as he was looking at my name badge. He then proceeded to call me every name in the book and later tell me that there are dangerous people outside the store who want to take me out. I since quit and working on my recovery.

I am weight-listed for the Weekend of Recovery in October and hope that this is the right place for my recovery, help me move forward and forgive.
_________________________
Small Stones
"Those who remove mountains begin by carrying away small stones"

"I am in charge of how I fell and I choose HAPPINESS" from The Law of Attraction.

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#448777 - 09/30/13 12:09 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Bill61]
On The Fringe Offline


Registered: 09/21/13
Posts: 326
Loc: Southeast USA
Hope you find the help you seek. This place has been helpful to me.

Take care.
_________________________
I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here.

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#448783 - 09/30/13 12:52 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Bill61]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6336
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
sorry to hear about what happened to you at church and at work.
glad to hear you had the courage to ge some small measure of compensation and closure from the clergy.

welcome to ms.org.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#448793 - 09/30/13 01:39 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Bill61]
Bill61 Offline


Registered: 09/29/13
Posts: 41
Loc: Illinois
victor-victim,
Thanks for the welcome. My abuse as in my counselor's office which was also his bedroom.

I thought I was the only person this priest abused but I was number 5 of 6 who came forward. He also harmed kids in Ohio, Indiana, California, Illinois and Michigan. Three of six cases were from my high school but I think more have not come forward.

Part of breaking my silence that including threats from the priest that said "if you tell anyone, when I die I will going to hell". This perp died before my case and we were able to find out that he was honored for 70 years in 2011 of being a priest even though he was removed of his duties in 2005.
_________________________
Small Stones
"Those who remove mountains begin by carrying away small stones"

"I am in charge of how I fell and I choose HAPPINESS" from The Law of Attraction.

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#448794 - 09/30/13 01:43 PM Re: Introduction [Re: On The Fringe]
Bill61 Offline


Registered: 09/29/13
Posts: 41
Loc: Illinois
Thank you On The Fridge.

I have purchased these two books from Amazon and started Mike's book
-Mike Lew's book "Victims no Longer"
-Howard Fradkin's book "Joining Forces"
_________________________
Small Stones
"Those who remove mountains begin by carrying away small stones"

"I am in charge of how I fell and I choose HAPPINESS" from The Law of Attraction.

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#448813 - 09/30/13 06:37 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Bill61]
Bluedogone Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/03/13
Posts: 847
Loc: Southern US
Hi Bill,

I've only been here a short time, but welcome to the site. I 'm sorry it was necessary to find a place like this, you've made the right decision in sharing with like minded people. The thing I've found most helpful is to realize that I'm not alone, and the atmosphere of a non judgmental acceptance and understanding of why I'm like I am is certainly nice to feel.
I hope you find Mike Lew's book as helpful as I have in trying to deal with some of the issues.

I don't know about forgiveness. I haven't been very successful with that, but I've at least forgiven myself for a lot of stuff. I would imagine it would be pretty hard, if not impossible, to forgive someone who used their authority as well as the cloth of religion to carry out the abuse. It's good to hear you were able to get compensation, but it's a poor substitute for a few years of your life (to say nothing of the after effects).
Thanks for sharing. Good luck and Godspeed as you continue on the path of healing and recovery.

CJ
_________________________
Never, never, never, never give up...Winston Churchill

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#448877 - 10/01/13 10:16 AM Re: Introduction [Re: Bill61]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1631
Loc: Minnesota
Welcome to MS, Bill.

I am glad u r here and reaching out- I hope u get into the Weekend of recovery - but know there are lots of resources and support 24/7 here on the MS website too.

I applaud u as you work to reclaim your life and walk this road. Keep showing up!
_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#448883 - 10/01/13 12:14 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Bill61]
thepatient Offline


Registered: 09/29/13
Posts: 29
Loc: USA
Wow, what a story! Kudos for making it this far.

Originally Posted By: Bill61

I found out that my life stopped in 1977 when the abuse started and never stopped.


I'm sure many of us can understand this sentiment. Take care, brother.
_________________________
"Shine on forever
Shine on benevolent sun
Shine down upon the broken
Shine until the two become one
Shine on upon the severed
Divided, I'm withering away
Shine on upon the many, light our way
Benevolent sun"

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#448884 - 10/01/13 12:26 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Bill61]
genedebs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 307
Loc: MO
WElcome Bill61

I am glad you have found us and and willing to share. It took me a while to even write an introduction. I, as you, have struggled with forgiveness. Until I internalized how bad it really was I could not recover. Though my sexual abuse began 52 years ago, I did not resolve these issues until September 2013.

May you find what you need to heal. May you find this site as supportive as I have.

May God Bless you and may the light of His countenance shine upon you.

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#448900 - 10/01/13 03:01 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Bill61]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: Bill61
....I found out that my life stopped in 1977 when the abuse started and never stopped.
Hey Bill,
My life stopped in 1970. Its hard work to get it restarted, and it sucks that so much time's been wasted, but it can be done. I wish you success in taming this beast called CSA.

Jude
_________________________
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

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