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#448590 - 09/28/13 05:40 PM Re: What do you see? ***TRIG*** [Re: Still]
HD001 Offline

Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 276
Loc: us
I see other humans telling their story. Some of them are hard to read. I don't look at them often. After reading a disclosure I often wish I could give the guy a hug. It is ugly stuff that no one wants to think about but its so important to share when one is ready.
I might react with less shock them some of the other partners because I'm a survivor as well. I remember how hard it was to tell what happened to me. After I remembered my tongue swelled up and I couldn't talk for two hours and just had a massive panic attack. Even once I could speak the story was soooo hard to force out. I'm proud of you guys. When I read your stories I feel sadness compassion hope and empathy.
Everything comes from within

#448655 - 09/29/13 05:24 AM Re: What do you see? ***TRIG*** [Re: Still]
Still Offline

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1
I see one idiot who screwed up all the lives around him with the poisonous looks and smell that a truly foul creature posesses. He has never lived a normal life. What friends he has, run away when they truly see what was once covered.

A friend for 20 years (really close friend) just put me on the "pay-no-mind" list. He was present for me when we filmed the 700-Club thing. He was the visitation supervisor of record for me and my kids during the vicious divorce. He took me on trips when I was ready to drop-dead from strain. He was the only one to visit me in the hospital last time I was in.

I would say some misunderstanding is at work here, except that things like this have happened over and over in my life ever since disclosure.

Too needy, too freaky, too gross, too icky to really be there, not enough brass, too wimpy...? I just don't know. I've let this thing take its time, but its been about 5-months now with no contact at all. We live in the same town. Today, he defriended me from FaceBook, which is the preferred method for everyone here to communicate.

My sister has completely written me of (including FB) as bottom-feeding sea-freak ever since disclosure.

This all hurts like hell and I don't get it. I don't get why its happening, but its like the alienation found in childhood all over again.

I have been certain to not over-lean on these folks, or anyone for that matter. That's the Ts' jobs. But this is telling me that people are willing to cut me loose for something that I AM, and that makes me sick.

#448874 - 10/01/13 01:58 PM Re: What do you see? ***TRIG*** [Re: CruxFidelis]
sugarbaby Offline

Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 382
MS will be sending you a Ferrari ASAP.

Nah, I live near dirt roads.....I would feel bad for the car! smile

This all hurts like hell and I don't get it. I don't get why its happening, but its like the alienation found in childhood all over again.

Don't ever discount the fact that people would have come into and gone out of your life even if you had never been abused. I've had people/friends/family come and go for no apparent reason (fbook and otherwise)....sometimes for apparent reasons....and I've never been abused. I've had people I've known for decades that won't talk to me because we don't agree on gun rights issues. It's stupid.....but it is what it is.

I was very disturbed at how people saw H when he did in-patient mental health. I was glad he was there but the same people who made a small effort to visit him in the hospital NEVER went the 9 days he was is psyche. I was the only one and I don't see what the big deal was....he needed it.

Maybe this has **triggers** maybe be honest I'm not sure so read a nutshell:

I know H was very disturbed about explaining to me his physical reactions to the abuse but what he didn't understand then, and I hope many of you know, is that the parts of the nervous system that handle those things are not the same nerves we use to type these posts on our keyboards. I wrote up a post a while back about this but I'm not sure I ever posted it.

These physical reactions are handled mostly by the same nervous system areas that handle things like digestion, hormone releases, and breathing. These are not reactions that men or women EVER have much, if any, control over.

I think that information was one thing that he was very concerned about my reaction to and how I would see him. That was only because he didn't understand his physical reactions to the abuse though.

Edited by sugarbaby (10/01/13 02:08 PM)

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