The policeman sat behind a large desk, I never got to know him, except as a pay grade, a uniform and a title. The Governor is coming, the Senator is waiting, the ashtray stands are in the corner. the state flag drapes behind him. He's a pay grade, an empty uniform and suit. A hat with the grade of "Captain" upon it. State Police Captain VIII, as a matter of fact, to be precise.
My mother is a pig. No one knew. No one cares. Women get away with murder. It's their privilege, especially if it's their sons. Nowhere to go to, nowhere to hide, no one to help me and mortally wounded pride, we sit in the corner, waiting to die. That is the fate of mother-son incest survivors, like me. I speak only for myself of course, but honestly, someone should speak for me, don't you think?
The options dwindle. We play by the rules. It gets us nowhere, except deeper into the hole. We age, we start to smell with the passing of time. People hate us. The only ones who understand men like me are a few members of the super rich. Go figure. But they do sympathize, and they do care. I thank them. They have, in many ways, saved my life up until now. One of them called me her friend; no one else did. She gave me a Bible, hand written notes, she cared. No one else did.
Everyone wants to talk about shallow subjects and chase their dreams, which is understandable, but while other people suffer and wither away, in silence, and without support. That is not right.
I've lived a life of impeccable character, no alcohol, no drugs, never been accused of any wrongdoing by anyone at any time. My personal, intimate life is practically that of a Saint; yet I am judged harshly by those who are allowed to err because they have "been through a lot", when I have been through just as much, and quite possibly more.
But some of us are more equal, and more supported.
Shallow people tend to not even know they are shallow. They brag instead.
The policeman loves me. He does care. And so did my friend from years ago. For that, I am eternally grateful to her for doing so.
Closure is at hand.
I support everyone who is a sexual abuse survivor. It is true we all are the same, we all are deserving of respect, sympathy and love. I just would like to see more of it practiced.
Edited by JoeSmith (10/23/13 01:16 PM)