Hi Dowen, welcome to the site Brother. When I first got here I could not tell my story either, so take your time. There are a lot of people here who can help you with and through this as I have found. We all have different stories but we share many hurts, and that is a starting point. Mostly, people here "get" what you are going through. So welcome and congratulations for taking a big step toward healing. I came just over a year ago, and am so much farther along now then I ever thought I could be. You are with friends! Blessings back too.