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#446714 - 09/09/13 10:02 AM Advice on dating someone who was also abused?
Osiris_elite Offline

Registered: 08/25/13
Posts: 4
I'm dating a girl and have been off and on for some time now.

She was aloof and distant and hard to get to open up emotionally for awhile but said shed explain one day. I assumed it was child abuse but let her take her time in telling me.

She told me that when they were younger her family was barely making ends meet. Her dad was under a lot of stress financially so she says her dad made her and her brother pose for child pornography in order to sell it to make money. She says this lasted till she was 13 and they said they couldn't sell it anymore because she was too old.

She told me thus story with tears in her eyes but says she doesn't blame her dad for initiating it or her mom for letting it continue. That her dad was under a lot of stress and they needed the money.

I tried to get her to explain what happened, just to wrap my head around it but she said I didn't want to know because "it would piss you off too much" but did tell me that she wasn't penetrated by him.

But we live with her parents now. And I'm uneasy. She sys it doesn't bother her, that despite everything she still loves her parents.

I'm angry for her and don't know how she can just let the whole thing go.

I want to know what happened in detail. Not a easy thing to ask her.

What are your thoughts?

#446722 - 09/09/13 11:31 AM Re: Advice on dating someone who was also abused? [Re: Osiris_elite]
Rambler Offline

Registered: 12/11/06
Posts: 134
Loc: Planet Earth
May I clarify something before I give my thoughts? You said you are 'dating' her but you also say that you are living together, correct?

#446723 - 09/09/13 11:37 AM Re: Advice on dating someone who was also abused? [Re: Osiris_elite]
Osiris_elite Offline

Registered: 08/25/13
Posts: 4
We're room mates, highshool friends and we've been dating of and on for awhile.

If that helps?

#446733 - 09/09/13 02:55 PM Re: Advice on dating someone who was also abused? [Re: Osiris_elite]
trytry Offline

Registered: 02/13/13
Posts: 52
Loc: Wisconsin
I have no experience with this but i think if youre always there for her to open up to she will be more comfortable telling you more things the more you talk. Has she ever seen a T? Im sure it cant be easy living with her parents, for both you or her. Its good that she started opening up to you, i hope she continues to. Does she know about your past also?


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