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#445998 - 08/31/13 12:38 AM The only direction you can push is away.
Esposa Offline

Registered: 10/19/11
Posts: 811
Loc: NJ
I just came across an old post by SAR and it said: The only direction you can push is away.

What a profund statement. And oh so true.

We can't push anyone toward something, even if it might be good for them.

We can, however, choose what we won't put up with. This is true of everyone, every human. We always have the right to push away.

#446016 - 08/31/13 02:35 AM Re: The only direction you can push is away. [Re: Esposa]
PookieMarie Offline

Registered: 07/23/13
Posts: 12
I needed to read this today. I needed this very badly. Thank you,

#446081 - 09/01/13 12:06 AM Re: The only direction you can push is away. [Re: Esposa]
HD001 Offline

Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 276
Loc: us
We need a "like" button. Very insightful thank you.
Everything comes from within

#446115 - 09/01/13 09:42 AM Re: The only direction you can push is away. [Re: Esposa]
SamV Offline

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5971
Loc: Sunnny, South East USA
This is profound yet so simple, the proverbial horse to water. If those we care about choose to continue to hurt themselves it is their choice. We certainly can talk with them, telling them what hurts us, what we are uncomfortable with and what we need from a relationship but we cannot demand. Begrudging compliance is not what we want in the short or long term. If the "horse" chooses to lie by the banks and dehydrate, that is it's choice, we could choose to expend our efforts fully invested to finding new and different ways to try to get it to drink or we can, to varying degrees, separate ourselves and use our precious resources to connect with healthy, positive sources of our own refreshment.

Thank you Esposa, this helps me to release my adult children and my survivor to their own machinations.., well, not all of them, I may still nag a bit here and there, but I can let them hammer away until they hit their own nail, no sense in my continuing to cover their thumb and getting mine bruised every time.

MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

#446120 - 09/01/13 12:51 PM Re: The only direction you can push is away. [Re: Esposa]
lucylives Offline

Registered: 04/07/11
Posts: 367
So very true, sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves and our husbands is to push away. Sometimes that alone is the motivation for change. The fear that we will not be sucked in to the insanity anymore.....detachment and boundaries.

Great reminder esposa.


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