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#445748 - 08/28/13 08:59 PM wanting help
skipflip Offline

Registered: 01/14/13
Posts: 5
What if there is no reason to want help. What made you want to get help and to deal with the abuse?

#445752 - 08/28/13 09:07 PM Re: wanting help [Re: skipflip]
concerned_husky Offline

Registered: 08/30/12
Posts: 766

If anything, the reason was simple for me: I wanted a better life. I was sick of getting triggered all the time, the depression, the addictions, bad social life, everything. I started acting on hope.

"Only the solitary seek the truth, and they break with all those who don't love it sufficiently." - Pasternak

#445764 - 08/28/13 09:53 PM ! [Re: skipflip]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 2217

Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (03/01/14 02:32 AM)

#445770 - 08/28/13 10:46 PM Re: wanting help [Re: skipflip]
Banjo596 Offline

Registered: 08/20/13
Posts: 93
Loc: Ohio
What finally brought me to seek help was another failed relationship. A divorce after being together for 19 years and married for 7. It pushed me into dealing with my demons, and it's about time!!! I started my healing a short 7 weeks ago but am already pleased with the progress I have made. I realize there is a lot more work to do, but I am also looking forward to it.

#445772 - 08/28/13 10:59 PM Re: wanting help [Re: skipflip]
Rich1967 Offline

Registered: 07/18/13
Posts: 628
Loc: PA
I felt so alone and isolated from everyone but my wife. I felt like I didn't even know my 4 kids as they reached their teens. I had no male friends that I could call up and say, hey to do you want to go see a movie, or come over have a beer and hang out. I was afraid of other guys and even myself to some degree. I knew about a year ago it was because of the abuse and went into counseling.

It's so painful sometimes. Even writing a post here at MS feels almost too vulnerable of a thing to do, but as Gary said so wisely above - you got to want it because it's not an easy process to make things better.

I still don't have any friends that I can hang out with, but I'm working on that. Ok, I should count my cousin as one friend and I do hang out with him when I can. I have friends here and I love them. I hope you find what you are looking for.

Edited by Rich1967 (08/29/13 09:21 PM)
Edit Reason: I do have one friend
"Me too"-I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.
My Story

#445773 - 08/28/13 11:02 PM Re: wanting help [Re: skipflip]
atari_kid86 Offline

Registered: 02/24/10
Posts: 142
Loc: Michigan
I spent so much of my life post-abuse (young adult) working and working and working ALL the time plus going to college PLUS trying to make a marriage work (with two young adults who married way too young) that I never stopped to feel ANYTHING.

When my marriage abruptly ended, I wasn't working as much, and I was done with school, I found my "brick wall."

I remember being so happy that I was finally on my own and had control over my own life that the effects of what made me run never sunk in.

I decided to seek out help when I realized that maybe there was something going on deeper inside me than just reeling over a cheating ex-wife. My mental breakdown afterwards had very little to do with her, I realized.

I realized that I had been running, sprinting to some kind of place that was always out of reach. I got tired of running and started trying to make sense of it all.

Edited by atari_kid86 (08/28/13 11:04 PM)
Edit Reason: typo

#445787 - 08/29/13 01:08 AM Re: wanting help [Re: skipflip]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4231
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio
skipflip -

you know that phrase - "hitting bottom" - ?
well, i wasn't quite there yet, but i was afraid of getting there.
i felt like i could see it not too far ahead.
i couldn't stand the thought of it being any worse than it was already.
and it looked like it was gonna keep sliding downward.
i had to try to make it better.
or at least stop the deteriorating trend.
maybe that is what they mean by hope.
or maybe it was sheer desperation.
anyway - i decided to try getting help.
guess what - it did help!
it was hard and long and ugly - but it was worth it.
SO worth it!!

How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3

#445798 - 08/29/13 02:52 AM Re: wanting help [Re: skipflip]
skipflip Offline

Registered: 01/14/13
Posts: 5
I'm not sure where I am in the process. But I am greatful for all of your responses. Please keep them coming. I identify with them all.

#445800 - 08/29/13 03:13 AM Re: wanting help [Re: skipflip]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
They say that you know when you've hit bottom, because thats when you stop digging. I had tried EVERYTHING to cope with the after effects of CSA. Drugs, alcohol, more alcohol, sex, more alcohol, more sex.... Nothing worked anymore. I had no choice but to try to face all of it, that or leave the planet.
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#445802 - 08/29/13 03:31 AM Re: wanting help [Re: skipflip]
mattheal Offline

Registered: 06/10/12
Posts: 142
Loc: Ohio
I sat in my garage with a .357 in my mouth. I had two choices, I could pull the trigger or I could get help.
It's okay to find the faith to saunter forward
With no fear of shadows spreading where you stand
And you'll breathe easier just knowing
that the worst is all behind you
And the waves that tossed the raft all night
have set you on dry land
- The Mountain Goats - "Never Quite Free"

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