That is an interesting set of issues and unfortunately I have been dealing with this lately.
I googled it and found this - from the spouse's point of view: "Lonely is the most common feeling. I hear the phrase “I feel single” in this relationship or “we are great roommates”. These statements of romantic and intimacy depravity are common. The sense that the soul inside of you is drying up and that you have not been touched on the inside for so long are very common feelings for a partner of an intimacy anorexic."
This year, honestly, I have just given up. I tell H how I feel and he chooses to ignore it. A couple months later I tell him again and again he chooses to ignore it. I told him "you keep ignoring me and I WILL go away." So far, nothing from his end and I'm not banging my head on this wall anymore. I've been on the couch for months. So be it.
It's a shame really. He is a wonderful person. I don't think he ever wanted to marry me though....he married me because I made him feel safe.
I have to look into this more. I am surprised it came out now....which is why I feel he didn't want to marry me in the first place.....I would think that now, this far out from his therapy, it should be a cake walk (as much as it can be)......not so much.
Thank you for posting this. I had been at a loss to explain this and so I hadn't posted my feelings about his behavior.
Wow, so many of these points hit exactly what is going on in my house. The anorexia and the reactive anorexia...... Intimacy Anorexia http://www.ingelaedwardscounseling.com/1/category/intimacy%20anorexia/1.html