I have often asked the same questions.
One answer that is both devastating and liberating is -
I was not special in any way.
I was only available and vulnerable.
it could have been anyone.
It was not because I did or didn't do anything.
just the wrong place at the wrong time.
and I did nothing to cause or contribute to what happened.
I am off the hook.
Hope you can do the same for yourself.
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....