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#445034 - 08/22/13 03:11 AM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: SoccerStar]
GoldStone Offline

Registered: 05/28/13
Posts: 220
Loc: Far East
Originally Posted By: SoccerStar
It is normal, universal, omnipresent male behavior to be fixated on penises. There have been scientific studies using eye-tracking cameras that show men -regardless of sexual orientation or history - spend the most time looking at the crotches of other men (clothed or unclothed) and even of animals.


"most of the time"?

maybe thats going a bit too far (well, not a bit, but i'm being nice).

As attractive a notion as it might be, I don't think you'll find agreement with the reality of other men's experiences.

If you have a link to that 'eye tracking' experiment, I'd like to see it. was it conducted in a locker room? smile

I think, obsessing over body parts with all the emotional trauma and distraction that comes with it, is by no means "normal", and passing it off as such is less than helpful.

Not that your intentions were bad, man.

Hey, I'm just calling it like I see it. From one crotch watcher to another.

#445055 - 08/22/13 05:05 AM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: SpiritRisingMan]
SoccerStar Offline

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 929
Your attempts at humor are misplaced. This has been documented in peer-reviewed scientific journals.

And I did not say "most of the time," as in, their every waking moment; I said "the most time," comparing the time spent observing that region as opposed to other regions in experimental series.

It is not incumbent upon scientific truths that they must be helpful. They are simply true.

My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of Heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

#445240 - 08/23/13 12:52 PM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: SoccerStar]
Suwanee Offline
Chat Moderator

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1339
I like the eye tracking study. The results seem to support conventional wisdom even though many refuse to admit where our eyes tend to linger.

While I don't believe I have a penis fixation, I freely admit I will check out other guys' equipment. I believe it is a primal instinct used to evaluate potential rivals. And extension I know I'm being "evaluated" as well. Interestingly, a quick once-over from someone else strokes my ego (that's all it strokes) smile A more fixated gaze crosses an internal boundary and I get all panicked. That's when my CSA issues quickly emerge.

I've got this life
And the will to show
I will always be
Better than before

#445246 - 08/23/13 02:07 PM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: Suwanee]
peroperic2009 Offline

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3864
Loc: South-East Europe
We are visual beings and our biology is reason for those glances.
I'm sure everyone is doing it and it is unintentional. Sometimes I caught my eye slipping down there and it makes me feel uncomfortable...

Originally Posted By: Suwanee
A more fixated gaze crosses an internal boundary and I get all panicked. That's when my CSA issues quickly emerge.

Same here, I'm very anxious if I would feel such gaze.

My story

#445258 - 08/23/13 06:10 PM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: SpiritRisingMan]
AndyS87 Offline

Registered: 12/12/08
Posts: 310
Loc: sorry, but I don't say on the ...
Oh man. Let me tell you, I tried out Bikram Yoga once for about 3 months (yoga in a 90-110 degree room with like 70-80% humidity for 90 minutes) and I've done karate for about 12 years now. I am still amazed at how it seems that once men hit the age of about 55 or so, they just stop trying to be modest and keep covered up. I would be having a conversation with somebody on my way to the showers, and then I'd turn around to be polite and initiate eye contact, and WHAM. Just chilling there naked, letting everything air out. Bro, you have a towel. I would like to focus on our conversation, not trying to do everything in my power to avert my gaze from your old man testicles.

The karate place was at least a little more discreet in that people would usually turn and face the wall so that if you were talking to them, you didn't see anything that would scar you for life. That and it was a quick change there. The yoga studio was like "hey, it was hot as hell in that room. I think I'll just chill here being naked and cooling off". Yes, I'm about to do that too, by walking out into a January evening at 8:30 in a T shirt and driving home with my windows open.

I used to worry about it too, but I'm getting to a point where I don't really care anymore. It's not like people are trying to stare at my junk and judge me for it. Once I came to that conclusion, it was a bit less stressful for me.

#446356 - 09/03/13 10:07 PM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: SpiritRisingMan]
GoldStone Offline

Registered: 05/28/13
Posts: 220
Loc: Far East
This sounds crazy but the thing that got me over penis envy more than anything else was being a performer on webcam for a one week stint. Being the object of en-masse affirming attention went a long way in overcoming the conviction of inadequacy, which we know hits men big and small.

I still enjoy looking at a bulge or a big one, but I don't have all the conflicting feelings of envy and anger that go with wishing I was 'that big'.

* not recommending it as a solution necessarily! Put your cams away.

Edited by GoldStone (09/03/13 10:11 PM)

#446451 - 09/05/13 06:46 AM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: SpiritRisingMan]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#446557 - 09/06/13 01:26 PM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: SpiritRisingMan]
F.A. Offline

Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 230
Loc: United States
I too had this most of my life but mine was a little more about comparing because my perp (my cousin) was extremely hung for his age and even in adulthood. I never thought I measured up so I would always try and compare until one day my self body image changed and I was able to be comfortable with my whole body.

To be sick is to be fragmented. To be healed is to become whole, and to become whole one must be in harmony with family, friends, and nature" -Navajo-

#447218 - 09/14/13 09:56 PM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: SpiritRisingMan]
AndyS87 Offline

Registered: 12/12/08
Posts: 310
Loc: sorry, but I don't say on the ...
It's funny how that happens - when I was much younger it was an obsession for me, both for my physical shape as well as my size. Then eventually as I got older and filled out and all, things got to the point where I wasn't necesarilly thinking "hell yeah, I look awesome in all these departments", but rather "Hey, I'm not doing too bad".

#448628 - 09/28/13 11:54 PM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: SpiritRisingMan]
On The Fringe Offline

Registered: 09/21/13
Posts: 326
Loc: Southeast USA
Interesting topic. I am new to thinking and dealing with my CSA, it was non violent and lots of oral both ways. He was 15, I was 8. And sadly I must admit that i remember it with color clear detail. The skin tone even of his penis and salty taste of the semen. I hate this snapshot is burned in my memory. I am straight. And remembering this against my will felt like a violation upon every recollection. I feel like that if I could have a pin stuck in my brain to kill those cells that remember, I would. Even on here I hate writing it.

I know with no doubt that my high demand for oral on me for the rest of my life was related to that. I would not date a girl that did not so it often.

It was not in the normal way though. I took as she did not really love me unless she did. It was a fixation.

On the earliest posts there were comments on measuring ourselves. I did. I felt it was the one thing I could feel good about myself. It made me good. I noticed others and compared. I had to be complimented on it by girlfriends. I was certifiably insane... Looking back, oh my..

The weird things that became important to me have been mysterious until now.

I still enjoy when my wife compliments me on making love with her being good. But it isn't an obsession for validation like it used to be. Thankfully this one obsession faded.

With the hundreds of times I measured my penis, it never changed smile. How silly of me. As far as phases, that was fairly harmless. Although I suspect my tape measure may have jock itch.
I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here.

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