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#444785 - 08/20/13 03:06 PM Could I be her? triggers
Lost Mountain Offline

Registered: 12/06/12
Posts: 47
Loc: Atlanta
About 25 years ago I was in Manhattan near the Holland tunnel at rush hour standing at the corner trying to cross the street. If you have ever been around there at rush hour you will know it is kind of crazy. I am just looking around at the sites and yes the pretty girls walking around and I notice a car there was nothing special about it but I kept looking. Next thing I know a little girl pops up in the back seat and we make solid eye contact. After what felt like hours I see her mouth the word HELP ME and then the car was gone. What just had happened did not sink in till later and I started crying that poor girl was probably stolen. I have been praying for her all these years and hope she was able to get free.
The reason I bring this up is tonight in group we had to do a collage and mine showed the rough exterior and the feminine side. When I was 5 I was abused by an older man and his sister and she would dress me as a girl for him. I shared this and more in group last week and tonight a lady in group said the reason I obese on the girl is because the girl is me. This floored me I never thought of that. I have been painting, drawing, sketching and water color. Trying to find her to see her and free her and all I had to do is look in the mirror? Could it be that simple? I really know it is not but it does sound good

#445014 - 08/22/13 01:57 AM Re: Could I be her? triggers [Re: Lost Mountain]
BraveFalcon Offline

Registered: 02/26/13
Posts: 1231
Loc: The ATL

Hi Lost Mountain. Wow, that's a pretty frightening story and an interesting interpretation of why it's bothered you as much as it has to this day. I think I can understand what your fellow group member means though. You were abused and you had some pretty bad things happen to you. There was nothing you could do to help yourself, because you were only a child and there was no one there to help you. When you saw this girl, you saw a child who may have been in the same type of trouble or even worse. You saw a child who may have needed to be helped but there was nothing you could do to help her. You were powerless, just as you had been powerless as a child. You were powerless to save her from what very well may have been the same type of pain you were subject to. In that way, I can definitely see where you could have seen yourself in her.

As far as the girl herself is concerned, I hope you can let go of any guilt you may feel. You didn't say you felt guilt but I sensed in your words that you do or at least did. If it had been modern times you could have whipped out your cell phone and called the police immediately to tell them what you saw but no one had cell phones back then. Also, you never know, she may have been perfectly safe in her dad's car and was just messing with you. Maybe she's somewhere right now living a happy, well-adjusted adult life. Maybe not, but you'll never know. Because you'll never know and because there was nothing you could do, I hope one day you are able to let that little girl go. Take care. Peace,



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