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#444128 - 08/12/13 10:40 PM Re: "The Hunt For Britains Paedophiles" [Re: Lloydy]
king tut Offline

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2488
Loc: UK
I remember years ago somebody pointed me to the film "mysterious skin", I wasn't in a great place and to this day I am annoyed that it was even suggested I should watch it, the triggers from that set me back months in my recovery, and although it isn't personal, I still don't forgive that suggestion. Since then I have been very careful about watching things like that unless I think I can handle it at the time. I generally avoid CSA documentaries too, there is nothing I can learn from them (although yes for other members of society they could learn something), but for survivors I agree they are just risky.

#444161 - 08/13/13 04:37 AM Re: "The Hunt For Britains Paedophiles" [Re: king tut]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6387
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
i think i can say honestly that i hate that film.
came across 'mysterious skin' by accident.

i have posted warnings against it elsewhere on this site.
there was nothing wrong with it technically or artistically.
it was just too much, and then it got worse.
i should have turned it off, but some part of me believed there would be some closure or justice but no.
it was like being raped again.
strongest flashback i have ever had in my life.
i can't say how far back it set me,
but it felt like starting from scratch.

in retrospect, perhaps i needed it,
but i sure didn't want it.

i had no warning whatsoever.
thought it was going to be a movie about alien abduction and WHAM!

like a punch in the face, really.


#444383 - 08/15/13 12:27 PM Re: "The Hunt For Britains Paedophiles" [Re: Lloydy]
txb Offline

Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 416
I watched Mysterious Skin also. Specifically because you said not to Victor. I always have the urge to do things people tell me not to do. You know what's freaky about it? Someone we know was involved in the production of it. I didn't know that till I saw his name come up on the start titles. But yeah... I didn't think it was going to be so disturbingly graphic. I kept telling myself, this is not real, it's just acting. But it didn't really help. There was no closure at the end, I was just left thinking, and then what?? After I watched it I was really disturbed and I remember thinking I would call a friend. I looked at my phone and then when I looked back up I was in my kitchen taking something out the oven and 50 minutes had passed. That was really weird. Later I looked it up on Wikipedia and it said that the kids had a completely different script and no filming was done with them and the adults at all. I was still disturbed by that. What if you grow up and find out that film you were in when you were 9 that you thought was about UFOs or whatever was actually about your character being abused? I think I might actually feel kind of abused if that happened to me.

I think I really should be more careful with what I watch and take care of myself more.

#444493 - 08/16/13 06:48 PM Re: "The Hunt For Britains Paedophiles" [Re: txb]
Suwanee Offline
Chat Moderator

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1343
I almost watched 'Mysterious Skin' just out of curiosity. Three things stopped me:
(1)Warnings from fellow MSers.
(2)The IMDB synopsis: When I found out that the two victims were EXACTLY my age, I backed away. Any reaction I have is always made even more visceral knowing the victim/character is my age.
(3) Not only were these boys were 8 in 1980(just like me), they also played baseball---which I did too. My coach wasn't a perv, but this is WAY too close for comfort.


Edited by Suwanee (08/18/13 12:39 AM)
I've got this life
And the will to show
I will always be
Better than before

#444516 - 08/17/13 12:25 AM Re: "The Hunt For Britains Paedophiles" [Re: sentry]
JayBro Offline

Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 325
Originally Posted By: sentry

I appreciate JayBro relating how the PTSD seems to be so quiet for a period of time I think I have progressed completely out of it and then wham I am triggered by something and it can effect me for days. I can't formulate rational thought patterns and become afraid and somewhat Paranoid. I have stopped viewing most of the documentary's on the subject of CSA because it just isn't worth the risk. They could serve some useful purpose in shock value on society especially those who have not experienced what it is really like. Perhaps bringing it to their attention for the first time.

Abso-100%-lutely. It is almost like learning the skills to take care of myself and reduce my exposure to potential triggers. Sometimes they come from an indirect reminder of flashbacks. As as example, because my abuse was mainly online, sometimes webcams or looking at someone's pics on facebook trigger me to become paranoid and worried. Or other times seeing kids or older men triggers me. It is a tough gig having PTSD. You never know when the coast is clear...
,,Nun ging es immerzu, weit, weit bis an der Welt Ende."

#444565 - 08/17/13 09:49 PM Re: "The Hunt For Britains Paedophiles" [Re: Lloydy]
concerned_husky Offline

Registered: 08/30/12
Posts: 766

"Only the solitary seek the truth, and they break with all those who don't love it sufficiently." - Pasternak

#445480 - 08/26/13 10:23 AM Re: "The Hunt For Britains Paedophiles" [Re: concerned_husky]
petercorbett Offline

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2509
Hi, my fraternal brothers.

The BBC has become more involved in bringing CSA & ASA into the mainstream of reality for all to see.

One i watched a few years back was called "The Chosen." and the ins & outs of having those abusers removed from their posts in dealing with young boys or as young daults. Those gallant gentlemen survivors decided to go on TV & bring their stories front & center in order to expose those particullar individuals (perpetrators) but very much like the Catholic church was doing by moving them around from place to place, totally ignoring the horrific emotional & mental damage they were doing to their victims.
We all react in differing ways whenever we see things or are reminded about things from our shattered youth & lives.
But personally i find in them a part of myself another step learning from others the courage to come out & speak about it, to learn from it and how to try and survive from it.
We don't have to hide in secret in the depths of our heart & soul in assumed blame, shame & guilt of what happened to us.
We have to learn how to remove that heavy burden of assumed responsibility & blame from our inner childs heart & soul & put it back on those adults whom in my case was someone whom this boy fell in genuine love with & thought that he genuinely loved me in return.
And place it squarely upon the adult whom chose to betray him in the name of love.

Wishing my brothers here well on their particullar journey in healing.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunlight, forever into eternity." As he is me.
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.

#445906 - 08/30/13 02:29 AM Re: "The Hunt For Britains Paedophiles" [Re: Lloydy]
atari_kid86 Offline

Registered: 02/24/10
Posts: 142
Loc: Michigan
Should not have watched...

I'm happy that there is such a unit devoted to this heinous crime, but God, I should not have watched this still.

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