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#444412 - 08/15/13 10:18 PM Relapsed.... Need Advice/Support
kevin8512003 Offline

Registered: 06/13/12
Posts: 8
Hello All,

I am an alcoholic. My abuser gave me alcohol and would abuse when I was drunk. This made me develop a fear of what I might have done everytime I drink. So when I drink, and I loose memory, I worry that I may have done something terrible. Last weekend I went to a wedding, and I got drunk. I have been trying to be in recovery, but I had a slip last weekend.

Needless to say, I was very scared because of this drinking episode. All my friends told me I was fine and behaved, but I am still stressed.

I could really use a REALITY check here.... some support and advice.



#444413 - 08/15/13 10:22 PM Re: Relapsed.... Need Advice/Support [Re: kevin8512003]
Poorsoft Offline

Registered: 02/20/13
Posts: 163
No one complained, even your friends told you that you behaved. You are stressed because of the lack of memory, which causes anxiety, I do believe not remembering is your trigger, because it seems to bring you back to the time of your own abuse (what did I do? What happened? The confusion, anxiety, etc)

Hope that helps man.

Go easy smile

#444415 - 08/15/13 10:25 PM Re: Relapsed.... Need Advice/Support [Re: kevin8512003]
Magellan Offline

Registered: 01/01/11
Posts: 1595
Loc: California
It sounds like nothing happened while you blacked out.

The problem might be that you blacked out? Sounds like it happens pretty regularly. Black out drinking, of course, will cause anxiety. No one has any control when they're blacked out.

I won't stand in judgment of your 'coping mechanisms'. We all have / had them.

#444418 - 08/15/13 10:32 PM Re: Relapsed.... Need Advice/Support [Re: kevin8512003]
nltsaved Offline

Registered: 08/27/08
Posts: 933
Loc: Kc,Mo
All you can do now is pick yourself back up off the floor and dust yourself off. That is all you can do . Learn from your mistakes and learn what led up to the actions you took and how you compromised everything you know to be truth. What did you do and how and why did you do to end up taking your last drink. Than work tirelessly on your recovery. Get into the meetings or recovery group. Surround yourself with the right people . If your "friends" know you are an alcoholic and none of them said " hey maybe you should not drink" or anything to discourage you maybe it is time to find new playmates.

If you are serious about your recovery you must put yourself in position to be clean. Going to the same places hanging around the same people will not cut it . Going ANYWHERE where there is alcohol is NOT a good idea at all. I do not even go down the alcohol isle at a store if I can help it . You need to have the same mindset . You should not put yourself in places you will not be able to handle yourself PERIOD !!

Self pity will not cut it either the more time you spend in that realm is only time lost you could be focusing on the Recovery .

I have over 11 yrs alcohol free so I understand the struggle , I am not just talking out of my ass. I still attend recovery meetings when needed just to remind myself " O yea that's why i do not want to do that anymore "

This must be the reality check you where talking about

Edited by nltsaved (08/15/13 10:34 PM)
Video of me telling my story
you are not alone never were
Why i hate Religion but love Jesus

#444430 - 08/15/13 11:33 PM Re: Relapsed.... Need Advice/Support [Re: kevin8512003]
justplainme Offline

Registered: 09/01/09
Posts: 472
You will always encounter a trickster within when you are getting better, some part of you will always look to make you doubt or look twice at yourself.
Be patient with yourself.. Your only human.

"Survivors need an opportunity to define their own sexuality in their own terms, rather than in reaction to the abuse, so that they stop allowing their offenders to have power over them sexually."

#444438 - 08/16/13 12:47 AM Re: Relapsed.... Need Advice/Support [Re: kevin8512003]
pittsburgh Offline

Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 105
Loc: west Chester, Pa
Just some thought's. Do you go to AA meeting, they have helped my wife and I. She has a mentor that is she calls when starts to feel stressed out or anxiety. This has helped for many years. I wish you the best and will be thinking of you.
it is and has been quite a trip thru life, as last I feel that I am in a better place, it takes work and in my case a wife the was and is forgiveing and helpful. At last a relationship has gone right, messed up three.

#444457 - 08/16/13 03:32 AM Re: Relapsed.... Need Advice/Support [Re: kevin8512003]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: kevin8512003
My abuser gave me alcohol and would abuse when I was drunk.

Hi Kevin,

My encounter with my abuser was exactly the same. Groomed with drugs and alcohol, abused while under the influence, grew up to be (surprise!) an alcoholic.. I'm sorry it happened to you.

I can tell you that I am 16 years sober with the help of God and AA. I suppose AA is not for everybody, but it has helped many change their lives. The first step in the healing process is surrender. Admitting that your life has become unmanagable, and that you are unable to change it on your own. Being willing to try anything to be able to live clean and sober.

Try going to a meeting. If that one doesn't seem right, try visiting another. You can find meetings in your area listed online. PM me anythime if you like. You can change if you want it badly enough. Be well.
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#444488 - 08/16/13 05:14 PM Re: Relapsed.... Need Advice/Support [Re: kevin8512003]
Rambler Offline

Registered: 12/11/06
Posts: 134
Loc: Planet Earth

#444495 - 08/16/13 06:57 PM Re: Relapsed.... Need Advice/Support [Re: kevin8512003]
bodyguard8367 Offline

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""

Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 11:52 PM)

#444597 - 08/18/13 02:55 PM Re: Relapsed.... Need Advice/Support [Re: kevin8512003]
1.healing Offline

Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 261
Loc: NW Ohio

Hi Kevin,

Really hope that you've managed to get and stay sober since your relapse. If you're not involved with A.A. another Alcohol Free Support Group or counseling with an emphasis on Chemical Dependency Recovery, you really need to be.

You can't effectively do the CSA work as an active alcoholic or drug addict, you need as clear a mind as possible. All addictions are about avoidance, not facing reality (ugly as it can be), masking or denying the truth (again can be quite ugly). Is it any wonder we engage in drinking, drugs, gambling, whoring, etc.? Aren't great ways to cope though and certainly create their own problems while compounding the existing ones.
Not good, not for us or others in our lives, especially families.

The pros say too that in addition to the harm drinking and drugs do to our minds and bodies it also actually stops our intellectual, mental and emotional growth. Just freezes it at the point you begin your addiction; so say your 15 when you start using and 30 when you stop, well at 30 you're still that immature, messed up 15 yr. old you started with. How messed up is that? Seems the sooner you get yourself together the better.

Best of luck, again hoping that you're making progress.

Gary / 1.healing
"It's never too late to be what you might have been."

George Elliot

"You cannot find peace by avoiding life."

Virginia Woolf

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