Hang on.... Don't you all believe that new love is blindness? Both ways!! Ah the wonder
I think we are attracted to our partners for very specific reasons - and those reasons are solidly positive. They are opportunities for self-growth. Opportunities to come right up against the issues we need to resolve personally. Isn't that the point of a relationship??
I offered and offer my husband what he never had as a child - protection, stability. And he offers me what I never had as a child - I am needed and I am important/effective. But man, did we get each other good! We knew exactly how to flip each others' buttons and force each other to look deeply at ourselves.
My point? Everyone falls in love because we fail to see each other's flaws - goes both ways. We ignore those flaws, fall deeply in love and then use that capital in the bank to keep us together when the gloves come off and we see each other as we really are for the first time.
It's a journey of self discovery - just feels like its about the other guy