The mind goes on a journey of sensation with many responses, often horrifying. Meanwhile the "body still remembers".
A recovery book I read tonight offered up the observation that the body is in this way betraying us. It lets all of this remain unmoved and constant. It may have even engaged in a pleasure that leaves us living impulses that conclude we were as much to blame, and that we will be to blame again. But after all, it is just the body, doing what it does. Responding.
Recently, I have been at work being more in touch with the idea of an embodied mind and a mindful body. What I mean is, when I give in a little to the mind and body being more intimately connected, although the pain increases, there sometimes arrives a bit of mercy, a kind of calming grace, amidst the rest of the difficulty.
Although true intimacy is not on the docket at present, from what I understand, these pains will not go away. However, by staying open to something positive coming along with the pain, by letting the hope for healing be present, perhaps more can be known about what happened and what is needed now.
Thanks for you thorough honesty.
Lose the drama; life is a poem.