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#439510 - 06/29/13 01:05 PM Alcohol
king tut Offline

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2488
Loc: UK
All problems are only compounded by the consumption of alcohol?

Discuss the validity of that statement (if you like).

How many guys here have completely or partly given up alcohol and for what reasons?

I'm planning on giving it up for fitness, although it seems that alcohol is an important aspect in social situations, and obviously being social is an important part of happiness.
I am definitely more social and talkative after drinking alcohol- so it does have benefits for me. It helps me to relax and feel happy- at least for me. Also I don't like pop (fizzy drinks/soda) very much so if I do go out there isn't much choice in a pub.

However, for some people, if you are already feeling sad, alcohol can make you feel more sad, and some people are also violent/angry drunks. When I was in the middle of recovery alcohol would make me more sad and I would more easily go into fits of flashbacks/triggers/dissociation. Now alcohol just helps me to relax after a hard days work, but I try not to drink very often because I have hard work every day so I probably only drink either once a week or once every few weeks- but I sometimes drink until i'm too tired to continue. I understand also that some people may be adverse to drink if their abuser/abusers used to be drunk.

They say all things in moderation- but if I have one pint it is often followed by a few more. And I like ale, which has high calories, so for me, even drinking just once a week kind of un-does any fitness hope I have.

#439516 - 06/29/13 04:00 PM Re: Alcohol [Re: king tut]
BraveFalcon Offline

Registered: 02/26/13
Posts: 1231
Loc: The ATL

Hi KT. I have a long history with alcohol and can't see myself ever giving it up. I have, however, managed to moderate my drinking when I need to. When I was younger I got smashed just about every single night and now I limit myself to three or four beers a night during the work week. I just can't drink more than that and get up in the morning unless I've had a good eight hours of sleep, which I only have time for on the weekends. The weekends are a different story though. On a Friday night or a Saturday, it's not unusual for me to drink 15 or more beers. Last night I passed out on my kitchen floor and woke up there at about 6:30 AM, then stumbled off to bed and slept there for a few more hours. I tend to wake up in odd places on Saturday and Sunday mornings.

Like you, alcohol helps me to relax after a hard day's work. It "takes the edge off", if you will. Also, in social situations, it helps to cut down on some of the anxiety. Not to mention the fact that it's a temporary escape from my problems. Yeah, my body could do without the calories, but I try to eat right and work out enough to balance things out. I know it's bad for my liver and whatnot but I don't really care. I'm going to die someday anyway, right? I figure I'll always be a basket case with 1000 emotional problems and issues and I'd rather face life with those things and be drunk than face life with those things and be sober. If that means I'm a weak person, fine. I'll accept the label without argument.

If you're planning on giving up alcohol completely, good luck to you. Also to anyone who has chosen a totally sober life. My brother recently gave up drinking and is doing quite well with it. To you, my brother, and anyone else who has put the bottle down for good, I am sincerely happy for you and I'm rooting you on. Only I'm doing it with a beer in my hand. Take care. Peace,


#439599 - 06/30/13 07:54 PM Re: Alcohol [Re: king tut]
OCN Offline

Registered: 02/05/13
Posts: 409
Loc: Western Europe
I have been thinking about quiting for some time now.. don't know if i'll push on through, but i do notice that i dont like to drink too much.. i do it sometimes in the weekend but i never really like getting drunk. A few beers should be good, but i have difficulties just drinking a couple. I tend to drink excessive and fast..

so i understand what you mean.. moderation can be very difficult. Good luck on your journey!
Trust me, you are worth it to love yourself!

I now know who I am - I've never been anybody else!

#439601 - 06/30/13 08:03 PM Re: Alcohol [Re: king tut]
SamV Offline

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5972
Loc: Sunnny, South East USA
Alcohol is a rare guest these days, having found a more stable center to level myself from the inside. Alcohol seems to take the fear away, the apprehension and self doubt, the "voices" or feelings that conflict with the person I want to be all telling me to go in a different path.

I am a wine or mixed drink man, not a beer man, I get an upset stomach, gas and a real bad reaction. I can't drink more than a couple sodas at a time either, but I do like the taste of a frigid cold beer on a hot day, I think it has something to do with the carbonation, maybe not. I can put away alcohol, my struggle is binge, emotional eating. Because it is a necessity, food is difficult to monitor and regulate.

It is possible that the root causes are similar, emotional suffering that we want to stuff, drown or choke. The difference is the substance, the similarity is that we cannot always simply close down a coping mechanism, these vices and choose a healthy coping skill and ride off into the sunset because that horizon has a pile of wax couples, prop horses and car shells under it where all those rose colored images did not result in "happily ever after".

Managing stress, fighting boredom, therapy, exercise as k t is doing, getting enough sleep, listening to our bodies and appropriately responding before the "urge" over takes us, these are necessary components of a healthy process that eventually brings us a lasting relief.

Way to go ktut, you are an encouragement to us all, thank you.

MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

#439614 - 06/30/13 11:07 PM Re: Alcohol [Re: king tut]
king tut Offline

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2488
Loc: UK
Thanks for your replies guys, it's been helpful. I think I have found that unless somebody tells me to stop drinking, my wallet becomes empty on a night out, or I run out of alcohol to drink in the house then I just don't stop once I've started. I don't really know why.

So yes, lets do this, i'm quitting alcohol completely (besides when I go on holiday- i'll let myself drink then because it will be special).

I'm up for this challenge! And it will be so much better for my exercise hopes!

#441302 - 07/19/13 02:49 AM Re: Alcohol [Re: king tut]
Suwanee Offline
Chat Moderator

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1345

I hear you on the alcohol. Like Ken, I have a long history with ethanol...but it is one that is pretty balanced. After an extreme episode with it as a young teenager, I went on to only drink on occasion---or in moderation.

Moderation might be a beer or two (or wine) a couple of nights during the week. Maybe I'll have more on a weekend night...maybe not. I certainly doesn't hurt to limit my intake.


I've got this life
And the will to show
I will always be
Better than before

#443250 - 08/04/13 08:21 PM Re: Alcohol [Re: king tut]
king tut Offline

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2488
Loc: UK
I've tried a few times now to give-up alcohol, or to only drink in moderation, but the problem is when I get stressed I use alcohol to relax, and it usually ends in excess.

So I am partnering up with a friend to promise not to drink alcohol at least until November. Alcohol is bad for my exercise and my sleep (and getting things done in general). I've been saving up some money, just a few pounds a day, I have just over 100 in the pot at the moment. The motivation deal is this- if I drink alcohol before November, he gets to keep the money.

#485560 - 07/16/15 02:48 AM Re: Alcohol [Re: king tut]
Tryingtolive Offline

Registered: 02/15/15
Posts: 776
My experience with alcohol ..... For me alcohol was to escape through out high school ...I wasn't drinking to party I was drinking for me ... I wasn't your typic social drinker.. When I would drink I would have to get completely shit faced to feel comfortable and enjoy the time.... That was during high school

I don't really like drinking now cause it triggers my anxiety and it seems my depression gets worse after a night of drinking .... I've gotten better now to manage my drinking and I don't have to black out anymore... But I drink a lone and I'm more comfortable do so .... I don't have a social life so it kinda helped me out with my habit

Edited by Tryingtolive (07/16/15 12:57 PM)

#485596 - 07/16/15 08:10 PM Re: Alcohol [Re: king tut]
Nothing Man Offline

Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 1115
Loc: Ohio
TTL, I drank alone, and drank copious amounts, for many years. I knew I was alcohol dependent for years, maybe decades, but I was afraid to quit. I liked it too much, it numbed me and made me feel interesting. But ultimately, for me, alcohol became a false prophet bringing nothing but lies. 11 years ago I turned away from drinking and have been sober ever since.

It has made life a little better, but not necessarily easier. When I was washing down vast amounts of Jim Beam into my system I could avoid facing all the issues, fears, hurts and trauma that we CSA survivors carry. I could not have begun my journey to recovery had I still been drinking.

Deep inside, you know what you need to do. Only you know if you have a problem or not. If you do have a problem, I urge you to face it and slay it.

I wish you well on your journey.

Suisse et libre
2015 WoR Hope Springs

#485610 - 07/16/15 11:32 PM Re: Alcohol [Re: king tut]
don64 Offline

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 1106
I had nearly killed myself with alcohol by age 44. I've been mostly sober for 22 years and totally sober for 12. I could not have done the recovery work I have done with alcohol. It just consumed so much consciousness time I require to navigate my own madness. Don
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards


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