Newest Members
jez, Long Way Home, Bcbornleo, Orko, molander
13593 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
flea (50), Gnuff (29), Stray (48)
Who's Online
3 registered (Guss, 2 invisible), 25 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,593 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,684 Topics
493,725 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Topic Options
#442916 - 08/01/13 08:21 PM advice on using public restrooms
Hailzes Offline

Registered: 01/21/11
Posts: 27
Loc: 161
Of late there have been horrendous stories in our news (uk), about children being assaulted whilst using public bathrooms (today in a KFC in Scotland, and last year in a Debenhams). Being a mother to an almost 5 yo, he obviously still uses the ladies with me; my question is about the future. I want to ask "what age is a safe age" but obviously we know there IS no "safe" age, anyone can be assaulted regardless of age/strength etc, so what do I do? What do YOU do?
Would me stalking outside act as a deterrent? Do I just tell him straight "I'm scared an evil person could harm you"? It's hard to know what to do for the best.
Thanks in advance community.

#442918 - 08/01/13 08:42 PM Re: advice on using public restrooms [Re: Hailzes]
Jacob S Offline

Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 699
Loc: where the shadows lie
I don't have kids, but I did find this article. Hope it helps.

Children need to know that they have the right to keep their own body safe – that other grown-ups aren’t allowed to touch them – and the child needs to know who their safe people are to talk to,” says Gallagher, who directs a family and child care program at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

Kids should be taught that “in the real world there are some unhappy grown-ups who don’t do nice things to other people,” she says, learning to be cautious and aware, not fearful.
Nothing there. It subsumed me. Black hole in time and space.

And yet.

It seemed like what I was made for.

to be used.

most natural thing in the world.

#442920 - 08/01/13 08:50 PM Re: advice on using public restrooms [Re: Hailzes]
Breakenridge Offline

Registered: 03/25/13
Posts: 6
Loc: USA
Hi Hailzes,

We all here appreciate your concern for your son's safety, however, your son is statistically more likely to be assulted by someone he knows or in his own family than someone in a public restroom. Hope that fact will calm your fears.

#442930 - 08/01/13 10:04 PM Re: advice on using public restrooms [Re: Hailzes]
Hailzes Offline

Registered: 01/21/11
Posts: 27
Loc: 161
Thank you both for your responses. I think the news has been frightening me out of my wits x

#443195 - 08/04/13 04:56 AM Re: advice on using public restrooms [Re: Hailzes]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4286
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio
As a survivor myself - I worried about this with my own 3 kids. We taught them to say such things as "you are not my dad (or mom)." And "don't touch me." And to speak really loudly and call for the parent who was waiting outside. We even practiced at home - as if it were a play. The last thing a perp wants is to attract attention.


Edited by traveler (08/04/13 04:57 AM)
Edit Reason: sp
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3

#444844 - 08/20/13 11:24 PM Re: advice on using public restrooms [Re: Hailzes]
king tut Offline

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2488
Loc: UK
If I remember right the Debenhams wasn't a straight forward assault in a toilets- the kid was grabbed and marched through a crowded high street and then taken to the toilets in Debenhams.

I agree with the other advice here, and agree that although it is good to be aware it shouldn't be something to worry yourself about too much as it does seem rare. And giving advice to your son if somebody does approach him is good!


Moderator:  ModTeam, peroperic2009 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.