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#442430 - 07/28/13 09:46 PM Trigger. Dip
Fastedd72 Offline

Registered: 02/18/11
Posts: 19
Loc: Harold Wood
I've had a hard few days. Bit of a dip. I think it's my mind trying to cope with success. I've spent two months organising a charity rounders tournament at work. It raised 400 for our local Mind.

Anyhow it seems that my mind hates success. Everyone said the enjoyed it. So why is my mind telling me that I fouled up.

I'm really in a very bad place at the moment. I'm feeling like I did at the very beginning. I'm struggling with work and family. I feel like I just want to stop the process and just become the emotionless person I was before.
I am chiped but not broken

#442431 - 07/28/13 10:17 PM Re: Trigger. Dip [Re: Fastedd72]
genedebs Offline

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 349
Loc: MO
Dear Fasted,

I know how you feel. When I was younger a achieved some amazing things. Co Founded and supervised an organization credited with electing the first Democratic Mayor of a city in 96 years. Leading the youth component of an effort which registered 4,000 in Virginia in 1964 (That was called Mississippi Summer).

Later I designed and directed a program which changed a program from helping 900 people in jobs, with less money to a program which transitioned 3,000 people to jobs. Throughout all of these experiences I knew that I had been inadequate. I could specify all the mistakes and where I fell short. Also, those people who appreciated my work, were not appreciating me, only my performance.

Today I know that I am a necessary, though insufficient, part of the solution (or effort) that I participate in. This took me more than 30 years to understand and accept that I was good enough, instead of being worthless.

I am not healed, but have made a long march toward healing,

We all have different stories, but we all are just the same.


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