Thanks, everyone for your thoughtful responses - this is such a conundrum for me. I must confess that reading your undoubtedly good advice sent me under the covers for a very long escape into dreamland.

My survivor and I have seemingly lived through the worst of it and are now trying to create something together that works for both of us. I can definitely see that my trust will never be the same (love the chocolate analogy!) but I'm not sure if I can fathom living with someone I can no longer (ever) trust or that my beloved survivor is incapable of being trustworthy.

I do hear you loud and clear when it comes to working on myself. It has taken me way too long to see this for what it is and I thank you for your support. I went back to school last year and I'm doing great in that regard. - Also started attending a support group to spur on personal growth in other ways. But it's only now that I am beginning to be the tiniest bit free of the fear of things beyond my control.

My therapist has mentioned EMDR, I will bring this up and see what she says.

Thanks again for responding!

Edited by black dove (08/05/13 04:57 PM)
Take this soul
Stranded in some skin and bones
Take this soul
And make it sing