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#442152 - 07/25/13 08:39 PM !
Smalltown80sBoy Offline

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 2217

Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (03/01/14 02:03 AM)

#442154 - 07/25/13 09:04 PM Re: Charm: A pedophile's secret weapon [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6387
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
excellent article.
stuff we survivors know all too well.
the devil can disguise himself as an angel.
unfortunately, it does little to help identify the hidden culprits.
unless they can be identified, who knows who they are?

just knowing they are there, without the knowledge of what to look for,
leads to blanket suspicion and security measures
which apply to each and every possible perpetrator and predator.
100% safety requires society to create a "0% opportunity" environment.
all are potentially guilty, and none are proven innocent.

it that where we are at?
how far do we go to end this threat?

this is a very complex problem.

you know, because my abusers were so charming, i still, to this day,
instantly dislike and mistrust people i find charismatic or charming.
if i am drawn to them, it is a red flag for me.

The charm of horror only tempts the strong.
- Jean Lorrain

"Les charmes de l'horreur n'enivrent que les forts!"
- Charles Baudelaire


#442167 - 07/26/13 12:11 AM Re: Charm: A pedophile's secret weapon [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
catfish86 Offline

Registered: 10/27/09
Posts: 832
Loc: Ohio
I remember talking to a parent involved with soccer. Her son was actually one of the more promising kids I had seen while coaching. My youngest was playing and she was selling shirts for the youth league. We discussed the high school coach at the time. I had some run ins with him and he really rubbed me the wrong way. We discussed some of the things he was doing. He had connections in the soccer world and was a good player (not much of a coach, the I'm a good player so it will rub off on you type). He seemed to try to be their friend and teammate/buddy.

Then I asked her where her son was playing in college. She said he gave up soccer for his senior year, and to be honest, though very bright he was struggling at a community college and partying too much. I said oh really, when did all of that start. She said right before he quit soccer. I asked if the coach did sleepovers. She said, yeah, why? I asked if the coach picked favorites. Yeah, why. I asked if she thought he might have provided alcohol at the sleepovers. Actually, yes, he has...what are you getting at. I said, these contacts, sudden turn in behavior...I don't want to tell you how to parent but you need to talk to your son...You don't think he... Better talk to your son. She asked what she could do about it. I said, you can stop him from access to more boys, you know for a fact he gave alcohol to players?

Coach resigned suddenly by the end of the month.
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.


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