it will be no comfort to you,
but i started disclosing early as possible in relationships so as to avoid getting too attached.
pretty much as soon as i started to like the person and it looked like it was going to be intimate.
i did not save the secret for after sex.
unless, of course, i did not have any plans to continue the relationship after sex.
so, basically, i had to like the person enough to want to become closer...
before i would tell them anything.
it was always a risk,
so i had to still be willing to lose them at that point,
without too much heart ache.
these days, i just put the disclosure out there early as possible.
i now do this with just about everyone,
except people i have to deal with on a professional level.
even then, i have confided in some of my colleagues and associates.
you might be amazed at how many seemingly "normal" people have been sexually abused.
it is far more common and hidden than even i realized.
very often, i get a surprise confession back,
and sometimes i am able to kick start someone on the road to recovery,
by helping them realize they are not alone.
now, i feel totally comfortable discussing this subject with anyone, including strangers.
if they can't handle the truth... F--K'em!
i don't even want to know people who don't have the capacity to absorb that information.
that is the majority, unfortunately.