Right...this is profoundly embarrassing to admit, but up until I was 18 or so, I thought...uh...that my parents never had sex and that I was born...um...asexually. The idea that my mother, or any woman for that matter, had sexual impulses was just universes beyond me.
this reminded me of something that happened way way back when i was only about 6 years old.
i knew what sex was, and i considered it a bad thing that made you feel good.
a taboo temptation.
i also knew where babies cam from, and how they were made.
but the two ideas were not connected in my mind,
until an 8 year old neighbour kid we all admired
(i still remember his name) told me that my mom
had sex with my dad.
i got insulted and called him a liar,
my mom would never do anything disgusting like that.
he pointed out that my conception and birth were proof enough.
i became overwhelmed with shame and anger,
when i suddenly realized it was true.
i snapped and attacked the messenger.
even though he was 2 years older and a lot bigger,
i jumped on top of him in front of everyone,
and pounded and pounded and pounded him into the ground,
as if that would erase the facts.
then i burst into tears and ran away.
i never looked at my mother the same again.
i could not conceive of her as a sexual being.
i felt like she had betrayed me by misrepresenting herself.
i have a hard time putting "mother" and "sexual intercourse" in the same thought or sentence, even now.
although today, i am completely cognizant of the simple logic that without "sexual intercourse" there can be no "mother", but it still bothers me.
the bible is helping me with that.
you can imagine the internal issues i have had to confront when my "sexual intercourse" partner became the "mother" of my children.
i have truly been blessed with a patient partner.