i guess, what i am trying to say is that i have finally come to the dreaded conclusion that suffering will always be a part of living.

i have developed several survival techniques to cope with it,
but i have yet to find an effective method to completely remove it or avoid it.
i can't even explain it or understand it to my own satisfaction.
all that is left for me to do now is to learn how to suffer in dignity.
that lesson is taught by example throughout the bible, and especially in the gospels.