This has been interesting for me to read since I realize to an extent I was in the same position as Ken.
As a teenager I'd learnt during the gang rapes and humiliations that anything to do with s/x, especially when girls were involved was bad. at 17 I was suddenly confronted with a very different dynamic, girls as friends and colleagues in education, and though extremely shy, afraid and quite timid, was taught by those good experiences of friendship that women were capable of being platonic friends as much as men, ---- indeed I had my first experience of falling in love at that point (nd one of the few that wasn't painful).
flirting however, or anything to do with s/x is still a foreign language or something completely alien to me, I just don't even understand what it means, heck i've been out for coffee or drinks with women often but have never once been on a date.
Interestingly enough this has also coloured my thinking, since in studdying ethics I have run across some extremely unpleasant feminists, some of whome have been physically intimidating, and have maintained a belief in gender equality rather than strictly adhered to gender roles.
I know I am straight and not gay, but the only times I have ever really thought about a girl in terms of closeness have been those times I've fallen in love, ---- about six in all, all of which have been hugely painful.
Again this makes me think that more than ever I really just need a woman who will be both a friend and show me what emotional love making is to change my perceptions, ---- but sadly being male this doesn't happen.