Newest Members
UniversalBeing, Squirmish20, Cunobelin, Dean-GMoT, hunterprince
13497 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
freddie (68), Max10 (59), Medos (49), PJinLB (50), TheWookinizer (30), tofeno (43)
Who's Online
1 registered (takingitslow), 61 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,497 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,047 Topics
489,019 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Topic Options
#439760 - 07/02/13 04:37 AM My journey starts tomorrow
Cdn_Kirby Offline

Registered: 06/17/13
Posts: 3
Loc: Canada
My journey starts tomorrow.

I'm not sure if I can even grasp what those words mean. Tomorrow I go see a "T" for the first time to discuss my abuse.

It's been about 30 years since it happened and it haunts me to this day. I've done my best to supress it and handle it to this point, but I can't any more. it's just too big.
I can count the people on one hand who know, and 3 I've told in the last couple of weeks, all counselors. The other 2 are me and my wife.
I told her about 10 years ago before we were married but it never came up again, mostly my doing.

A few weeks ago when I was searching for a place to start and I found these forums. The strength they have given me is immeasureable. To finally find a place where the people on the other side get it. Just knowing i'm not alone has given me the courage to keep going down the right path.

I have a feeling I will be back to share my story and progress.
Thank you all.

#439764 - 07/02/13 04:59 AM Re: My journey starts tomorrow [Re: Cdn_Kirby]
Dave PNW Offline

Registered: 04/03/13
Posts: 129
Loc: Pacific Northwest
Cdn Kirby. Wish you well tomorrow. I first voiced my abuse to a counselor two months ago and to my wife two weeks ago. As I was told when I first came here and told my story.... every time we tell it loses some of it's power over us. I have seen that and know it has been good for my healing path. I wish you strength and clarity for tomorrow. I know how hard this can be. Tell what you are comfortable with. It's your story now. You are in control. Wish you well.

#439784 - 07/02/13 01:56 PM Re: My journey starts tomorrow [Re: Cdn_Kirby]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4181
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio
Cdn Kirby -

your journey has already begun. it started the moment you acknowledged to yourself that you needed to find help. tomorrow is a major milestone - but you are already well on the way. by coming here and reading - and now sharing, you have also taken giant strides. well done, fellow-survivor!

a couple of things you might experience:
1. an initial feeling of elation after opening up and letting your story out to a T for the first time.
2. a following slump or letdown and second-guessing yourself - fear of having revealed too much - feeling of loss, lack of control, etc.

push on through. keep at it. don't let the backlash get you down. it is worth the effort to persevere. your quality of life will improve if you keep working. it is hard, but the pay-off is far more valuable than the cost.

stick with us, man. stay in touch. we can help each other through the rough times.

How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3

#439798 - 07/02/13 05:53 PM Re: My journey starts tomorrow [Re: Cdn_Kirby]
bodyguard8367 Offline

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
Cdn Kirby,

You are Brave and I applaud you.


#440000 - 07/04/13 05:38 AM Re: My journey starts tomorrow [Re: Cdn_Kirby]
Cdn_Kirby Offline

Registered: 06/17/13
Posts: 3
Loc: Canada
Thank you for your kind words and support. Lately I have been at peace with my abuse, knowing that I am on the road to getting help. Before the appointment I was very nervous, which surprised me.
The session was ok, not really earth shattering, just the introduction to the situation.
The really crappy part is she is now on holidays for a couple of weeks. I was hoping to get on a weekly schedule but I will have to patient, rome wasn't built in a day.

#440017 - 07/04/13 09:41 AM Re: My journey starts tomorrow [Re: Cdn_Kirby]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6379
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
i wish you all the best on your journey to the center of your soul.

please, take it slow and easy.
patience is a virtue when it comes to therapists.
they are only people, after all.
it is like building a working relationship.
there has to be trust and respect.

i have been through several sessions with many different Ts, and sometimes i expected too much from them.
i found they were excellent with help and guidance, but they were unable to "cure" or "heal" me.
sometimes, i was not ready to hear what they were saying and it did not make sense until years after the therapy ended.

good luck and god bless.



Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.