it's working now.
i could relate to many of the details: being an outsider in middle school, shutting down emotionally, the fatherless boy experience, craving male role models and mentors, the church setting, the benign neglect of a widowed mother, the loss of specific memories and regaining the experience as an adult.
good work. i anticipate the next narrative episode - whichever direction you drive it.
"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"