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#439362 - 06/27/13 06:44 PM breaking the cycle?
Elmorya1777 Offline

Registered: 06/27/13
Posts: 4
I am new to this kind of forum. I joined because I need help dealing with the constant anger that I have towards myself and others, which I strongly feel is a result of being abused. I thought I had dealt with and processed my abuse fully, which happened at the age of 4-5 by an older boy down the street. The effects are appalling, as I need not mention here I am sure. For one, I have screwed up all my relationships with women by cheating on them or just driving them away and repeated the same patterns over and over. But recently it is worse than I thought. In the last few weeks I quit my job in an argument with my boss and bloodied my fists on a solid wooden cabinet in an argument with my roommate.

I don't know how to let go of it...and really need help before I do something that lands me in prison or worse. I have done 1-1 therapy and now looking for groups to participate in...anything...any thoughts or advice for this broken man?

#439366 - 06/27/13 07:01 PM ! [Re: Elmorya1777]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 2217

Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (03/01/14 01:02 AM)

#439371 - 06/27/13 08:41 PM Re: breaking the cycle? [Re: Elmorya1777]
Elmorya1777 Offline

Registered: 06/27/13
Posts: 4
Thanks for your words Gary:)

#439383 - 06/27/13 09:44 PM Re: breaking the cycle? [Re: Elmorya1777]
Castle Offline

Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 758
anger is a secondary emotion.... talking and working on the root of the anger is where is at.

For me, the root is deep sadness.... acknowledging the sadness and working through it will help alleviate some of the anger... but it is a challenge for sure.

Also consider that when we rage at people they are often surrogates for the people that harmed us... confronting my perp helped in this regard too.

Risk v Reward is a huge factor too.... consider you said if it continues you can and would land in jail... or even dead....Over what? Nothing is really worth that.

Edited by Castle (06/28/13 04:11 AM)

#439390 - 06/27/13 10:48 PM Re: breaking the cycle? [Re: Elmorya1777]
Elmorya1777 Offline

Registered: 06/27/13
Posts: 4
i had never thought of it as being secondary because it seems so primary..primal even better word. I wonder what the root emotion is. fear? It is buried so deep...i don't know if i could find the perp or even want to. not sure what would happen even if i did..i hope i can learn to let it go through a group. thank you

#439391 - 06/27/13 10:52 PM Re: breaking the cycle? [Re: Elmorya1777]
Magellan Offline

Registered: 01/01/11
Posts: 1595
Loc: California
For me - anger has served as a mask for shame. And a mask for fear.


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