_________________________ "His voice rose under the black smoke before the burning wreckage of the island; and infected by that emotion, the other little boys began to shake and sob too. And in the middle of them....Ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man’s heart…”. -----William Golding
Will. At times I felt I related to, and looked up to, your ways of recovering and dealing with CSA more than anyone else on here. I will miss your contributions. I know you're doing what's best for you; I hope you come back, but if you don't, I wish you every bit of success and happiness.
"Only the solitary seek the truth, and they break with all those who don't love it sufficiently." - Pasternak
Suwanee.. I am also leaving MS. I find its not being productive or healthy for me an any way. I will say that I have chatted with some pretty amazing individuals on here.. you being #1. Please reconsider your leaving and the role you play here for others. For me, I feel I don't provide a supportive role to anyone so I am going to delete my Profile.
Thanks again for the honest and insightful advice you've given me.
Keep in touch..
Edited by ModTeam (06/07/1309:39 AM) Edit Reason: removed personal contact
To my brothers here whom are moving on in their recovery process.
I offer you this not only my compassion, understanding & hope for the rest of your personal journey.
An Irish wish, on your farewell.
May you always have..A sunbeam to warm you. Good Luck to charm you. And a sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you. Laughter to cheer you. Faithful friends near you. And whenever you pray, Heaven to hear you.
Farewell, my brothers, I wish you well on life's journey.
"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953 ____________________________________________________________ A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA. May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010. Hope Springs, 2010.
I can relate to your frustrations ... I have my own. I have been here for 10 months now and within this time I have gotten into trouble twice ... over the most ridiculous things ... and been viciously attacked by 2 individuals for the simple reason that they are mean and stupid and ignorant ... and angry. It was my view that the last time was the last time. I felt shackled and repressed ... unable to be myself. Honestly ... MS has lost much of it's appeal for me. I no longer feel fulfilled or productive. I only stayed because I realized that leaving would hardly make a difference to anyone ... except to me ... and perhaps to a very small number of members here that I have come to cherish. I haven't 'cherished' anybody in years!
Don't burn any bridges.
Leaving and deleting my account would have severed a lifeline in time of need. Such as it is ... MS is still a great place. I just don't participate much anymore.
But it's right here ... at my fingertips ... if I feel like paying a visit
... or need to.
Whatever you decide gentlemen ... Be well ...
Experience is a brutal teacher.
I hope you take this time to evaluate how to use the tools you have to find recovery. I have left a couple of times, myself, and came back. I have come to realize that MS is an invaluable tool.
To me, MS has taken on many faces over the 2.5 years I've been here. I exploded with newfound hope when I got here, and then was surprised and overtaken by periods of self discovery. And then there are the other aspects of MS: The site is littered with a lot of very hurt people with various stages of "shields up!" mentality. I have gotten creeped out about that, and I've taken personal offense to it, too.
I take MS with a grain of salt now. "Take what I like, and leave the rest". I suppose that translates into not having any close relationships with anyone here. When Bryan died, I was surprised at the outpouring of comments about how much PM'ing is going on between each other. I'm surprised at apparently how close people are getting to each other in PM (and in chat?)
I stopped participating in chat because of the nature of chat. I don't think the real time anonymity of chat is a safe environment to participate in. a lot of wounded and confused souls trying to banter and be open with each other in an anonymous fashion is just asking for misunderstanding and conflict.
Anyways, I hope that you take a different perspective about MS. It has a wonderful aspect; not only for discovering that I"m truly not alone in my life-dilemma of recovering from abuse, but that I can talk to and interact with other survivors. And I get to see what makes them tick, how the abuse affected them, and how they are handling it. That information is invaluable in providing me new perspectives I otherwise would never get.
MS is a powerful tool for me. While I don't have any close friendships here (which I have recently expressed disappointment over), I do gain enormous insight just as a virtue of being here, reading, and interacting with you.
Speaking of you - I do hope you stay, personally. I enjoy reading your insightful posts. You're a real asset to the MS people; many of them gaining insights about themselves by virtue of the fact that you are here.
But I understand if you need to depart. Who is to judge what is needed most for another person to find recovery? All I hope is that if you do leave, may you find your recovery! Godspeed.
agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and
chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole
discretion of MaleSurvivor. I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor
resources are AT-WILL,
and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for
any reason by MaleSurvivor.