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#436744 - 06/04/13 12:58 AM The indifference is heart-breaking
ThisMan Offline

Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 778
Loc: upper south
Possible trigger...
In one GOOD man's opinion .... and I may be wrong, but I don't think so.

I had written a few paragraphs about the continued responsibility of participants on the ASA forum, you know. As in how we should always support one another and share and listen and lift up. They way guys in the CSA forum or the Off-Topic forum, or the Gay forum or the Spiritual forum do. Then I deleted them. The support just doesn't happen here often. Why? ...I don't know.
Was like this when I started sharing in January.

I just want to point out that every silence to a posting is silence to an issue that should be talked about. Anger toward someone in this foum is anger that should be directed to the outrage that grown men are sexually assaulted. We can grow so much from one another. We can heal so much more readily from another's lessons and wisdom.

All of us are vulnerable and exposed when coming here. Some of us have wives or partners or strong social circles. And some of us have no one. I am asking you, as a brother of adult sexual assault experience to step out, step up, and make this forum one of healing. One of support. One worthy of sharing in. I know I am not the only male needing a helping hand. Can't be or the forum would not be in existence...because it was HERE WHEN I ARRIVED.

.......makes me wish to pack my bags and give up the issues caused by being raped.... makes me feel ashamed that I bring forth my issues surrounding the rape and posting in the ASA forum and unworthy of responses with those issues.
...and I don't like feeling this way.

and its not anyone's fault... it is as it is.

The indifference is heart-breaking.
For now we see through a glass, darkly.

#436853 - 06/04/13 06:40 PM Re: The indifference is heart-breaking [Re: ThisMan]
concerned_husky Offline

Registered: 08/30/12
Posts: 766
ThisMan - indeed I do not respond to all of your posts, even though I do read most of them, but I want you to know that the reason is because usually I feel I don't have any good advice, or have gone through something similar to be in a position to say anything useful. It is NOT because I don't care. Your voice is precious on here and each contribution you make, to my threads and others', makes a huge difference. And I think I speak for everyone on here in saying that I wish for nothing less than healing and recovery for you.

That being said, I'm glad you voiced your opinion about this, because it did make me realize that perhaps in my own little ways, I can contribute more of my time and effort into helping others heal on here. Thank you.

"Only the solitary seek the truth, and they break with all those who don't love it sufficiently." - Pasternak

#436854 - 06/04/13 06:46 PM Re: The indifference is heart-breaking [Re: ThisMan]
SamV Offline

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5971
Loc: Sunnny, South East USA
Not getting a response feels like we are being marginalized ThisGOODMan, may you never feel this way. Your fellow survivors may not be intentionally not replying, it may be that the isolation and fear are too much. Whatever the reason, please know that male survivor's as a body, encompassing all the differences we may have, are here to support and encourage survivors and supporters in this cruel twist of reality imposed upon us.

I encourage you to, as you have, share and reply in all the forums, in PMs and Chat so that you can may get a broad perspective of our hurt and our healing. Importantly, come back to those forums you wish to engage, like this one, and take every opportunity to engage positively those who do come here and wish to share.

".., it is as it is." We are, you are, they are ALL of us doing our best. Please know that you are on the right path, it just needs time and consideration. May all of our healing wait for us,

MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

#436907 - 06/05/13 02:35 AM Re: The indifference is heart-breaking [Re: ThisMan]
ThisMan Offline

Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 778
Loc: upper south
I understand, SamV. Honestly I do. And I take to task anyone who would disparage the good works of the men of MaleSurvivor. I know it has helped me through so many dark moments. And I have many more to travel through. And I have spent countless time reading and learning and becoming aware of the hurt and pain inflicted upon and carried by these men. It is our commonality.

"..., it is as it is.".... We indeed are all doing our best. I would never intend to indicate otherwise, and forgive me if I accidentally inferred such. And you seem to have stepped forward over the months to lift me up, and again, I say loudly and clearly.... you are appreciated.

... and Husky... you are just the best of the best. TY!
For now we see through a glass, darkly.

#437086 - 06/06/13 02:43 PM Re: The indifference is heart-breaking [Re: ThisMan]
Tyr Offline

Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 180
i felt similarly when i first came here 1.5 yr ago after a sex assault that, changed my life.

some of the guys that come here are so traumatized, reading other's stories -is a big deal- even if they dont reply.

also some are put off that the site is google searchable, no offense mods and dont reply or figure that out then go back and edit a ton of stuff.

this man, i havent quite been in your situations. and you are going thru a natural yet painful and necessary cycle of awareness, anger, reflection and hopefully, rebirth.
Once you hear the details of victory, it is hard to distinguish it from a defeat.

#437098 - 06/06/13 04:33 PM Re: The indifference is heart-breaking [Re: ThisMan]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6387
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
George Bernard Shaw says, "The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that's the essence of inhumanity."

i don't comment here often, but not because i am indifferent.

i just don't have any advice about ASA that i would consider worth posting.

i also don't spend very much time in this forum because it does not reflect my experience,
so i felt like i had no business participating.

i will try to visit more often, because it seems the emotional consequences of ASA are not much different than CSA.



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