I happened across a journal entry he wrote yrs back. In it he says he has started to recognize that during childhood to teens, sex in his home was very taboo and entirely unacceptable. His dad ignored teaching about basics like even erections and puberty, while his mom tried to make sure sex didn't exist. He was ashamed to masturbate and stopped for years because he was too confused and upset by the good feelings mixed with the shame and taboo nature of it. In the journal he writes that he doesn't write it for self pity but rather to highlight it in his min that he wasn't the wrong one they were. That by late 20s he'd realized they were at fault and that his upbringing had confused and scared him while his natural desire to explore himself and know about sex was directly opposed to the taboo nature and deep shame.
I was reading in a mother "room", about how when they felt depressed they either felt gay or engaged in Those types of activities. My original posting mentions my reason for landing her being the emails I found regarding sex on Craigslist. He was at one of the lowest and most stressful times. He admits to thinking of suicide so reading how some men feel that when when depressed makes me wonder I that could be some of his reasoning or what caused the need for the same sex ad and encounter. I really need advice and hope that someone can help me figure all this out. I spoke with a man who is gay and he believes that abuse doesn't cause you to look for certain sexual experiences, he just believes my LO is on the DL and will never admit to it or stop. I disagree with him and I do think abuse, maybe even mental abuse can cause so much damage.