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#436417 - 05/31/13 04:27 PM good question
Gretta Offline

Registered: 09/18/11
Posts: 240
My mother in laws birthday was yesterday and I have to say that initially she was supportive of my husband and everything he was struggling with and dealing with the abuse from his father. Somewhere down the lane she revealed that she believed him about the neighborhood boys but did not believe him about his father. I've gone around and around about it with her and she still sticks to her guns. I feel no obligation towards her in any way shape or form. Other than calling to wish her a happy birthday. My husband knows this fact and he definitely sees her in a different light but my sister asked me a good question. How can he be around her if she doesn't believe him?

Only 1 sister believes him and to her I am grateful for giving my husband that gift. Maybe she is enough for him. Maybe he knows how dysfunctional the rest are... I feel the same way about his other sisters, I don't respect them and feel no obligation towards them. It's not like the man wasn't a complete scum bag. It's not like he was a character guy. Before finding out about the abuse he wasn't a great father. Just one example was he stole his daughters gas card used it and blamed it on my husband.

I have two questions why does he stay loyal to his mom and I think here is a way to find out more information, should I? I have said this over and over. My father in law had one brother and his wife I think knows way more than my mother in law would even want to hear. They were brothers that didn't talk for years. Strange things happened over the years, his children were never allowed unsupervised with my father in laws parents. hmmmmm why was that I wonder? Should I open the can of worms and what would be the purpose and would it help my husband or hurt him?

I guess that's more than one question technically.

#436442 - 05/31/13 11:34 PM Re: good question [Re: Gretta]
newground Offline
Chat Moderator

Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 1153
Loc: michigan
hi Gretta
our loyalties are strange things. I remember as a boy being so angry at my mother for hitting me and then when I looked down and saw the whelps on my skin I totally flipped and started crying because I knew if someone found out, they would take her away from me. sometimes it just doesn't make sense,though I will say this. when you are a little boy and there is someone who is kind to you ,you remember it. Even if it is not all the time. I think that whatever you do you should probably check with your hubby first. it is easy for things to get twisted. just my opinion.
Either I will find a way, or I will make one.
Philip Sidney

#436660 - 06/03/13 02:09 PM Re: good question [Re: Gretta]
Gretta Offline

Registered: 09/18/11
Posts: 240
Newground, my H is a lover not a fighter and I think his one sister believing him is enough. I think the healthier he gets the more he sees how sick and unhealthy his family culture was, actually still is.

We are working hard so that is not the case with our family.

Looking for proof of the truth is not going to make my husband healthier, it would shut up his mom but I think the possible damage is not worth it.

#437783 - 06/11/13 04:22 PM Re: good question [Re: Gretta]
sugarbaby Offline

Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 382
Never underestimate the power of denial. Even with proof positive some people will deny, deny, deny.

I always like to see scum get outed but it may be more productive for your H if he is in control of that.


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