I had a revelatory session with a coach a few days ago.
I was telling him how the changes that have been occurring in my life seem to be pointing to a new emotional awareness and emotional maturity. Comprehending how to respond to people by paying attention to the subtle nuance of my heart, rather than trying to THINK about responses.
Anyhow, I told him that I was feeling nervous and perhaps scared about these changes. It meant that I was starting to get to know people on a deeper level (something I've been wanting), but it also means that they're going to start to get to know me! But I don't have anything to offer by way of experience, I'm quite naive. What do I have to offer? I felt fear and shame that because of my limited experience, that I would be embarrassed about having so little to offer.
What he said floored me. The best thing I have to offer them is acceptance and understanding. Ultimately, that's what all people really want. To be understood. To be heard. To be valued.
I don't have to have anything in me at all; I can be naive and innocent and even stupid. But if I accept them as people are and let them know that I understand and value them, that is the greatest thing I could offer anyone.
Wow. Who knew about this and didn't tell me????
That my intrinsic value doesn't come from what I have to offer, it comes from how I treat others, and making them feel valued.
BAM! This feels like a paradigm shift for me.