I remember my first days here on MS, they were what seems to be the worst days of my life. I couldn't see the Sun through the clouds nor could I see a tomorrow but the support I received here on MS help me to see the Sun peeking through the clouds. your story is not much different than my own, and I received a lot of insight into what I was dealing with from some other members here that was invaluable. stay strong my friend!
A fellow survivor on here by the name of "Cant Remember" really put things into perspective for me with one phrase......
"Those are not your sins"
Heal Well Bro
"Those are not your sins" A wise man