Welcome. This is a great site. You are not alone. We understand what you are going through. You survived a hell most adults will never deal with. I hope you realize how much strength that took!
My son turned 7 last year, the age I was when the abuse started. All of it came flooding back, and I had to admit what happened to myself and have been working on my issues for a year now.
It does get better.
It's okay to find the faith to saunter forward
With no fear of shadows spreading where you stand
And you'll breathe easier just knowing
that the worst is all behind you
And the waves that tossed the raft all night
have set you on dry land
- The Mountain Goats - "Never Quite Free"