Newest Members
chairdesklamp, Bill Ohio USA, jez, Long Way Home, Bcbornleo
13595 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Brianna (32), Firewire (45), Floss1964 (54), gogo (47), Jake_t2398 (34)
Who's Online
0 registered (), 34 Guests and 7 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,595 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,712 Topics
493,813 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Topic Options
#43515 - 02/13/03 11:19 AM Retreat Fellowships?
hanginon Offline

Registered: 01/25/03
Posts: 89
Loc: sarasota, fl
After reading one colleague's posting about not being able to afford therapy or the costs involved in attending the retreat, I grow concerned that those of us who most need help are not always able to access the help we require. Without going into a diatribe about the health insurance system in the United States (I fear my socialist views on this may stir up unnecessary controversy), I would like to help be a part of the solution rather than a part of the problem.

I run a very small association that serves an important but ecomonically challenged part of the nonprofit sector. We, too, host conferences and workshops and many times, those in most need of the professional development opportunities we provide are unable to attend because of financial constraints.

What we have done to help resolve this situation is to establish a small fellowship fund. We run a silent auction during our annual meeting cultivating donations from our membership and commercial vendors. The proceeds go to the fund and a standing committee runs the fellowship application process.

Fellows receive a complimentary registration and a small stipend to assist them with travel and hotel costs. I would be happy to volunteer my "expertise" to develop this sort of program for this group, since I consider myself a qualified candidate for a fellowship!

Is there a way we can do something as a "brotherhood" to help those in need to get the help they deserve? I certainly hope so...

There's always hope.

walker, there is no path, you make a path as you go...

(caminante, no hay camino, se hace camino al andar...)

Antonio Machado

#43516 - 02/13/03 03:52 PM Re: Retreat Fellowships?
guy43 Offline

Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 450
Loc: Minnesota
This is a great idea John! I hope MS Board Members read this and can help form a commitee to do just this, building a fellowship fund for Retreats!

I'd be happy to help however I can, on a committee, the web site, etc., and financially since I'm in fortunate circumstances at the moment.


#43517 - 02/14/03 11:03 PM Re: Retreat Fellowships?
Richard Gartner, PhD Offline
Past President

Registered: 09/20/00
Posts: 404
Loc: New York, NY, USA
We have been offering some scholarships at retreats, but I will bring your post to the attention of Howard Fradkin, the retreats chair. Thanks for thinking of this for us.

Richard Gartner


#43518 - 02/15/03 01:38 AM Re: Retreat Fellowships?
Jess Offline

Registered: 01/26/03
Posts: 107
Loc: California
To hanginon; Jer & Richard:

hanginon: Thank you for your suggestion. It think it is a wonderful idea. I hope that I can participate in some way that is both reasonable and useful.

Jer: Thank you, Brother, for your generous offer of financial support. I hope that this can be an encouragement to others of our "brotherhood" here who can help support the work financially according to their individual capacities. I hope to be able to offer some financial support, as well.

Richard: I believe I read in some publication by MS:NOMSV that a silent auction or some other fund raising activities are already in the "works" to provide partial financial assistance to some of our brothers. This will help them to participate in the MS:NOMSV retreats. Thank you for the work that you and the Board are doing. I started to research the availability of Male Survivor support groups and male rape crisis assistance in my area. So far, I have not found much. There are some small handouts available from W.E.A.V.E., but no therapy or support groups. I have left messages for those in charge of counseling to call me so that we may discuss the needs for these. I called my local public library and I went through a partial list of the books listed here in MS:NOMSV's book store. They have only a few of the books. I will go on-line and fill out there suggestions for new book purchases form. I want to exhaust all available methods first so as not to breach any of their lines of proper protocol. One other thing, when I called both the Rape Crisis Center and the Suicide Prevention Crisis Lines and asked if there were some counseling, therapy or support groups available to help male survivors of childhood sexual abuse and/or male-on-male rape victims, I always got a positive response. However, when I asked for a referral to a therapy group; support group, or even a counselor who specializes in male sexual abuse survivors issues or male rape victim counseling they searched and searched their tri-county self-help resource guides and always came back apologetically to tell me there is nothing available for men (except incest survivors anonymous). This is why MS:NOMSV is so valuable to me as an organization that is progressive, and proactive. MS:NOMSV is breaking "new" ground to make Americans and the World aware that there is a crisis in men's health today that has been here for a long time but hardly ever addressed by health care professionals and organizations. The recent crisis which involves the Catholic Church has helped to bring it to our awareness. But it still does not completely cover the entire area of child and adult male sexual victimization. That is why we all here appreciate you and the Board, Richard. Even if we don't say it often enough, we are always thinking about it. We know that you are working as quickly as possible to fill this void. MS:NOVSM makes progressive and proactive decisions which, because of the immediate needs of all male survivors, are being implemented as soon as they are voted on and approved. Thank you for the work you and the Board are doing. Thank you for the passion each member possesses to bring the facts of this kind of victimization out of the shadows and into the light; to bring healing and recovery to the victims/survivors; and finally, to help bring Sexual Abuse in all its forms to an end.

Sincerely, Jess.

#43519 - 02/15/03 01:49 PM Re: Retreat Fellowships?
Richard Gartner, PhD Offline
Past President

Registered: 09/20/00
Posts: 404
Loc: New York, NY, USA
[QUOTE] I believe I read in some publication by MS:NOMSV that a silent auction or some other fund raising activities are already in the "works" to provide partial financial assistance to some of our brothers. This will help them to participate in the MS:NOMSV retreats.

The silent auction you are referring to will take place at the Minneapolis conference in Septemeber. The intention is to first offset conference expenses. Moneys made beyond that - if any - will go into MS:NOMSV's general coffers, and are not necessarily intended to fund healing retreats. Our expenses include the web site, funding future conferences and retreats, our 800 number, post box and postage (which is more than you'd think -- it really adds up), our Administrative Assistant's salary, etc etc.

Most of our income has come from conference fees and donations, in addition to membership dues. We are in the process of setting up an endowment fund, which will generate income over the long haul. Members will be reading more about the endowment fund soon. Some moneys have already been donated for it, and more has been promised.

Jess, thanks for your words of support!



#43520 - 02/15/03 11:39 PM Re: Retreat Fellowships?
Muldoon Offline

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Great news Richard about the endowment fund, That is something I have been thinking about for a few months now . I would love to go hit up some of the wealthy people in Winona for gifts to this fund. You know if we get the word out the $$$$$ will come. Muldoon

Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

#43521 - 02/17/03 08:28 PM Re: Retreat Fellowships?
Howie Offline
Chair Survivor Retreats

Registered: 11/06/02
Posts: 8
Loc: Columbus, OH
Hi to all interested in helping fund a scholarship fund for the MaleSurvivor Retreat Weekends:
I am Howard Fradkin, and I am the chair of the retreat committee. As Richard Gartner (MaleSurvivor President) has indicated, we do have a small scholarship fund at the moment that has helped 5-6 survivors (out of a total of 30-35 each weekend) attend a retreat for a discount, depending on their financial resources. The amount of assistance has varied depending on need: we have been able to allow survivors to attend for as little as $25; oftentimes people can pay for 1/2 of the registration cost (usually about $150). The amount of the total funds available for assistance is small, and our committee would welcome an organized attempt at raising funds. We do not have the resources available at this time to apply for grants, which may be another way to help fund such scholarships. One of our facilitators has experience with fund raising, and if any of you want to contact me directly, I will put you in touch with him and see if together a strategy could be developed. You can contact me at

We are working hard to keep the costs as low as possible for survivors to attend, and we are sensitive that it is difficult for some to come up with the costs of the weekend as well as transportation. We are committed to moving the weekends around the country to help people gain access. If you live in a part of the country where you believe there is a group of survivors who would benefit from a retreat, and you have access to retreat facilities that are reasonably priced, please also let me know. The retreats are planned for 2003, but we only have one planned so far for 2004.


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.