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#43473 - 12/12/03 04:27 PM Re: More details, more shame...
survive75 Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 304
Loc: Massachusetts
Made it to therapy yesterday (thanks for the push Lloydy!) Did a lot of work around why sex is so difficult for me. Besides dealing with the flashbacks, a lot came up around anger at my mother of all things! Anger for not stopping the physical abuse, anger that it was someone she chose to bring into my life, anger that the signs of SA were all there but she chose to see them as something else. It was weird how that all sort of made sense of not feeling safe with my g/f and getting really angry with her after the flashbacks came during sex.

The mind can be a weird thing, but it makes sense once you're able to figure out what the hell it's doing! I just wish it were more obvious sometimes!

Anyway - thanks all for being there through this week of hell. Glad to say I'm feeling much better.



"Even though I know/I donít want to know/Yeah I guess I know/I just hate how it sounds"

#43474 - 12/12/03 05:11 PM Re: More details, more shame...
zadok1 Offline

Registered: 11/05/02
Posts: 188
Loc: Ohio
it is absolutely shocking what comes out along the way, and sometimes it doesnt feel too good. i know how hard it is to find that you are angry with someone you love. when i got digging and found out that i nearly hated both my parrents, when i really didnt want to feel that way, it was hard. on the bright side, now that you know about these feelings, you can work on dealing with them. hang in there. thing's will get easier with time. i think sometimes we try to rush things, and expect quick fixes. it took a lifetime to create our lives, and it'll take years to renew our spirit.

The world is a dangerous place, not because of those that are evil, but because of those who do nothing about them- Albert Einstein

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