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#433032 - 04/30/13 12:35 PM I was almost Holden Caulfield
Suwanee Offline

Chat Moderator
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1110
Loc: SE USA
.


Edited by Suwanee (02/21/16 02:09 PM)
_________________________
"His voice rose under the black smoke before the burning wreckage of the island; and infected by that emotion, the other little boys began to shake and sob too. And in the middle of them....Ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man’s heart…”. -----William Golding

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#433062 - 04/30/13 04:29 PM Re: I was almost Holden Calufield [Re: Suwanee]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
Will

Thank you for sharing that. As usual VERY well written. I don't know what to say really. It was such a powerful insight into how the abuse affected you as a teen, the pressure you were under and your life at the time.

I have to confess it made me tear up.

I've got to read that book now. It was not part of the Aussie syllabus.

Lee
_________________________
More than meets the eye!

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#433138 - 05/01/13 09:14 AM Re: I was almost Holden Calufield [Re: Suwanee]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3956
Loc: settling in the USA again
EXCELLENT, Will!

i identified deeply with HC, too. Also with the main character in Ordinary People - but he had some different issues. i had both.

lee
_________________________
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"

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#433142 - 05/01/13 09:59 AM Re: I was almost Holden Calufield [Re: Suwanee]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 927
Beautiful writing, Will. Getting "lost" while looking at a tree, finding that Other so much more important than the mundane tasks of the day... I think speaks to the bright and lonely teenager in all of us.

And yes - Holden even specifies that "perverty stuff" has happened to him. And then... nothing much more. It was written in the '40s about a character born in the '30s by an author even older than that. There may not have been a vocabulary to explore the issue at the time.... makes you wonder...


Matt
_________________________
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of Heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

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#433291 - 05/02/13 12:16 PM Re: I was almost Holden Calufield [Re: SoccerStar]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 385
Loc: Midwest
Will

I read Catcher in the Rye as a junior in high school. I immediately identified with Holden. I wanted to be like him, maybe even wanted to be him. I loved the loner aspect to his personality and how he was able to be independent and search the city and the world to find his place. I even wanted to name my first born son Holden. The first time I read it, I was a CSA victim. I couldn't understand why I was drawn to Holden, since his life and my life were so different. I've reread that book several times. Coincidentally, each time I reread it, it was within a year of an abuse episode or acting out episode. I never understood why I kept returning to this book post abuse until now. Had you asked me if Holden Caulfield was abused, I would have said no. Now I realize why I was drawn to the book and protagonist. It all seems so clear now, and it makes me wonder how I could have missed it.

Thanks Will for writing this. It is excellent. You have done us all a favor by writing and you've enriched our experience here at MS. Continued good wishes to you.

DavO

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#434601 - 05/13/13 09:33 PM Re: I was almost Holden Caulfield [Re: Suwanee]
Suwanee Offline

Chat Moderator
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1110
Loc: SE USA
Thank you for the kind comments. Writing about this phase of my life puts (keeps) me in a good place when I reconcile the hidden past with the present.

Writing is such good therapy for me. One day, I'll compile and edit the various journals and scraps I've written over the years---even if no one reads them but me.

Will
_________________________
"His voice rose under the black smoke before the burning wreckage of the island; and infected by that emotion, the other little boys began to shake and sob too. And in the middle of them....Ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man’s heart…”. -----William Golding

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#434625 - 05/14/13 06:42 AM Re: I was almost Holden Caulfield [Re: Suwanee]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
Congratulations. You have just discovered the secret message. Please send your answer to Old Pink, care of the Funny Farm, Chalfont...

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#434627 - 05/14/13 07:52 AM Re: I was almost Holden Caulfield [Re: Life's A Dream]
Suwanee Offline

Chat Moderator
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1110
Loc: SE USA
LAD,

I see what you did there. laugh
_________________________
"His voice rose under the black smoke before the burning wreckage of the island; and infected by that emotion, the other little boys began to shake and sob too. And in the middle of them....Ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man’s heart…”. -----William Golding

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#434816 - 05/16/13 02:55 AM Re: I was almost Holden Caulfield [Re: Suwanee]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
I always thought CSA was Holden's real problem. I've also always thought incest was Hack and Danny's underlying problem in the Kubrick version of The Shining. But that's another story.

The first time (of many times) I read the Catcher in the Rye right away I recognized the scene with his teacher brushing his hair on the couch. That was me, except age 9/10 for me, around all grownups.

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#434820 - 05/16/13 03:52 AM Re: I was almost Holden Caulfield [Re: Suwanee]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6290
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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