Welcome. Glad you found us although I'm sure sorry for the reason we need a place like this in the first place.
You have expressed the thoughts of nearly everyone that comes here. What that means in practical terms is that you are not alone. There are those here who've traveled this road before you and are here to share with you what they've learned. Others you will discover to be your contemporaries here because they are in the same place you are on this journey. Yet others are traveling behind you and you will be able to share with them and provide courage. Most importantly, we are a brotherhood here who care for and support each other regardless of where each of us are on the path.
Hope you find what you are looking for here, My Friend.
Lots of love,
"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson