I wish there were words to ease the pain in your post, but I cannot find any words that begin to address the inhumane treatment you described.
I served several years as a minister of music at evangelical churches. The primary reason I left that vocation was because of the progressively cruel and appallingly hate-filled behavior they perpetrated against anyone not fitting within their groupthink mindset.
The last straw was when I was asked to bring my choir and provide music at a funeral for a parishioner's brother who had died. I did not know the young man. When the minister asked everyone to bow their heads for the dismissal prayer at the end of the funeral, a young woman in the back pew interrupted and helped a frail skeletal-looking man to his feet. She announced that this was her brother, the surviving life partner of 17 years to the deceased young man. The pastor proceeded as if she didn't exist. No one spoke to them on the way out or at the graveside.
I was shocked that no one could even offer this human being any gesture of sympathy, so I met the woman and the frail man as they got into their car. That's when I learned that the two men had AIDS and my church had separated these two life partners so that each would die separated from each other....in order to "save them from each other."
Even though it was a small church of 300 people, it had 5 families that boasted about disowning their homosexual children. They were hailed as heroic role models in the church.
The funeral event and the statement from the pulpit the following Sunday that "no one can be a Democrat and call themselves Christian" were the final factors giving impetus to my resignation.
How does one apologize for so many ignorant assholes in the world? I had no idea that my church community of "sweet old ladies" and "good-natured" church leaders were behaving so inhumanely. I volunteered at an AIDS assistance organization for a few years afterward as penance.
I am so sorry that the whole world has not evolved. They know how to blow up the world but they don't know how to live and let live in peace.
I have taken to the stand-up comedy stage to educate other male survivors and those who try to love them. I blog about my isolated religious upbringing where physical and sexual abuse were commonplace and I serve as a facilitator of a weekly support group for men who have suffered sexual assault.