Hi Mel, I'd love to be able to offer some support for you. I think it's incredibly courageous to reach out for help, stifling everything in our manhood that says we should be able to figure it out on our own... good on you. It take courage, and a lot of it.
I appreciate the poetry in your post too... nicely done.
is it possible to be a little more specific with your request, to narrow it down a bit?
taking a chance here, i would suggest there are no "right" decisions... there are "best" decisions.
weak v. strong? you've displayed that simply by posting for help... that takes a lot of strength.
if you can offer a little more, i would share my experience with you and maybe help you out a little bit.
thank you for your courage mel!
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, carry on. ~Fun.