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#433071 - 04/30/13 09:23 PM I did it...
ThisMan Offline

Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 778
Loc: upper south
Decided firmly Sunday I would excuse myself from the services of the present T and seek out a new one. Spent the weekend searching on line, reading synopsis and experiences and philosophies. Of course I won't know until I meet them.

I made the call this morning and the former T had no response... I had to leave the message on voice mail. It was funny in that I began by easing into it trying to save her feelings. Standard procedure for me. Then I remembered what she said about my behavior being the base root of what has taken place and I caught myself.

At first I said, "I am canceling my appt this week, I need a break from therapy for a while." Then realized and said the truth.... "no, actually I appreciate what you have done with the csa issues but i need to search out someone who has experience with and can help with the issues of sexual assault of adult males- me- " (and I actually said me).

I scheduled an appt with a T approx an hour away. Since the last two were female, I selected a male. He has experience with csa and victims of violent crime and life changes for adults, etc. Hope he has some indication as to be able to help me ease into a better situation with myself. If not, I'll find another. I feel relieved I made the decision, but feel alone with the assault and abuse issues again. And its okay, I guess, but it leaves me feeling vulnerable. BUT NOT TOO VUNERABLE!!!!

Thanks for the support on this T issue. I think I have made the right decision and feel GOOD about it. (and thanks for not blasting me when I have mentioned the asa in past postings...and I did it again in this post so .... forgive me)

For now we see through a glass, darkly.

#433081 - 04/30/13 10:50 PM Re: I did it... [Re: ThisMan]
bodyguard8367 Offline

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""

Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 04:16 AM)

#433083 - 04/30/13 11:00 PM Re: I did it... [Re: ThisMan]
Lancer Offline

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Wow TM. Naturally I wonder if you'll ever hear from her...I have a feeling not. I'd be interested to know because I'm nosy. wink

Like bodyguard I'm real proud of you. Love the irony, too, that you stood up for yourself by dropping an inappropriate T. In itself that's a huge step and will probably do wonders for your self confidence. Well done!

#433088 - 04/30/13 11:43 PM Re: I did it... [Re: ThisMan]
cant_remember Offline

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1070
((((( ThisMan )))))

Bravo. Well done.

You don't need to apologize about posting about ASA issues here. There is an ASA forum here as well, if you didn't know that, but there's also nothing wrong with talking about your ASA issues in this main forum. Although most of us don't share that issue, some do, and some have both CSA and ASA issues to work through.

I think MS is stronger for our ASA survivor brothers here. I know that there is occasionally issues about ASA'ers feeling like second class citizens here, and I think that's too bad.

if I have ever done anything to make an ASA survivor feel less welcome here, I apologize.

I'll be just fine and dandy
Lord, it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But I won't let sorrow get me way down.

#433089 - 05/01/13 12:20 AM Re: I did it... [Re: ThisMan]
BraveFalcon Offline

Registered: 02/26/13
Posts: 1231
Loc: The ATL
Hi Thisman. Good for you bro! I'm glad to hear you made this decision. Your last few posts about your T were leading me to believe she was a bit clueless on the issue(s) of male CSA survivors and male assault victims in general. Who knows? She may nave been a good T for someone else, but not for you. I am optimistic that you will benefit from seeing someone else with a different viewpoint and perhaps better insight.

Originally Posted By: ThisMan
I feel relieved I made the decision, but feel alone with the assault and abuse issues again.

Well, as log as you're posting and sharing here I don't think you have any reason to feel alone. smile Take care buddy. Peace,


#433103 - 05/01/13 02:39 AM Re: I did it... [Re: ThisMan]
WriterKeith Offline

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 980
You were respectful of yourself and of the therapist in your termination of her services. If she is wise she will learn from the event.

Well done. hour drive is well worth the effort for the T that is the right "fit" for your situation. I've learned!

#433114 - 05/01/13 04:56 AM Re: I did it... [Re: ThisMan]
onlyakid Offline

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1577
Loc: New Jersey
I'm proud of you too, This Man. I am glad you decieded that you your current T wasn't working out. I'm also glad you told your therapist the real reason for your cancelation. If it was me, I would have waited till after hours like 11pm to call when I was certain I'd get voicemail. Cancel the appointment and never call again not even mentioning I was even taking a break. You'd be surprised at how many Ts never called back even though I never rescheduled with them.
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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