Many years ago, when the Mary Letourneau trial was underway, I was working as a bartender at a restaurant in the town where my parents live. I remember one particular night, when it was really slow, that Saturday Night Live was on the TV and three male customers were at my bar. This was back when Norm McDonald was doing the Weekend Update portion of the program. At one point during Weekend Update, McDonald made some joke about what an awesome teacher Letouneau was and how lucky the boy involved was. The guys sitting at my bar all laughed and high fived one another to that particular joke, then started making their own jokes about how awesome it was that some sixth grader got to "bang his teacher". My fists tightened and my teeth clinched. I always get that way when I hear people joking about how "awesome" female on male sexual abuse is. One of them commented to me about it thinking I wanted to be a part of their retarded conversation and join them in their ignorance but I politely brushed them off and went back to cutting garnishes. (Or whatever bartenderly thing I was doing at that point.) What I would have liked to have done was popped open a bottle of Merlot and "accidentally" spill it all over them. Whoops!
It made me wonder. If the situation had been the same, the EXACT same, but the teacher had been a man and the student had been a girl, or a boy for that matter, what would the jokes have been like then? I don't have to wonder much because I FUCKING KNOW!!!! The jokes would have been about which horrible way to kill the guy in. About how he should be beaten, and mauled by dogs, and raped in prison, and left there to rot forever. I'm not saying anger at male offenders isn't appropriate but the double standard fucking PISSES ME OFF!!! I'm so goddamn sick of it! Female sexual abusers are largely seen as "cool". They get WAY more sympathy from the public. They get lighter sentences when they are caught and their actions are portrayed differently by the media. We all
know this to be true.
Not many people know the sordid details of my childhood but when I hear even a stranger making ignorant comments about female on male abuse, I want to just unload it on them.
"The boy was lucky? Really, shithead? You know what? I was molested by older females when I was a kid and IT FUCKING RUINED ME!!!! It destroyed my sexuality! It ruined women for me! Do you enjoy your sex life with your wife or girlfriend, motherfucker? You know what? I don't have a fucking sex life and I'm 38. I've had one girlfriend ever and that only lasted for a year because she couldn't handle my crippling sexual timidity. I was actually relived
when she finally broke up with me because that meant I didn't have to MAKE myself fuck her anymore or feel bad later for not doing it. The REALLY fucked up thing is, she was one of the people who KNEW about my past and went into it thinking she could "fix" me. HA HA! She learned! And no, I'm not fucking gay! I'm not attracted to dudes at all but I don't want to fuck a chick either, ever. It's cool though. I've collected a number of very high-end sex toys over the years and they keep me satisfied. Believe it or not, if I had a choice between plowing some 25 year old, golden-bodied swimsuit model or getting off with one of my fuck toys, I'd take the fuck toy any day of the week and twice on Sunday! Got it? Now go be ignorant somewhere else you fuck!"
(Ok, not twice on Sunday. I don't have that kind of stamina anymore.)
You know what though? Maybe I AM lucky! Because of my childhood and my sexual issues, I never have to buy some chick dinner! I don't have to put up with a girlfriend who will want to move in with me and make me take my Star Wars posters down! I don't have to worry that she will criticize my wardrobe! I don't have to bring her to my parent's house and listen to her bitch to my mom about the things I do that annoy her, which are the same things I do that annoy my mom, which makes my mom take her side! I can play XBOX and drink beer all night if I want to and nobody bitches at me! I can watch college football all day Saturday, then NFL football all day Sunday, getting stinking drunk both days and nobody says a thing! I'll never have to spend two months salary on a useless rock attached to a useless, meaningless ring to show my "commitment" to her! I'll never have to worry about impregnating her with a kid I can't afford and don't want! I'll never have to make child support payments! I'll never have to live through the pain and expense of having a divorce! I don't have to remember anniversaries, or notice new hair cuts, or comment on how pretty the dress she's wearing is without her getting pissed off, or any other dumb fucking female shit like that!!!! Holy fuck! Maybe I WAS LUCKY!!!!!!!!!"If you got girl problems I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems but a bitch aint one."
Ha ha! Oh well...... (sigh). Who am I kidding? I've got more than 99 problems.
Anyway, I'm going to stop ranting now. Got a lot of video game playing to do tonight and no annoying bitch to spend time with. Thanks for lending an ear if you read all this. I needed to get that off my chest today for some reason. Take care all. Peace.
PS. When I said "And no, I'm not fucking gay!", I hope that didn't sound homophobic. My brother is gay, my best friend since high school is gay and I get along with gay people very well. I'm even a HUGE supporter of gay rights politically. I'm just not gay myself. Period. Just wanted to clear that up.