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#432074 - 04/22/13 04:28 PM I need some advice.. sorry if in wrong section
SonOfaSoldier Offline

Registered: 04/21/13
Posts: 15
Loc: Minnesota
I don't really have a friend here yet, but everyone here seems nice. I thought this is the best place to post this. Maybe with others who have a good idea of this might have good advice.

Ok my father is not always the best support, but I still look up to him more than he may realize. I have told my parents in the past of things 'hat have happened, and also about me being transgender. Mom is supportive, but neither went well with my dad. It happened six times that they know of, but due to my father's reactions I'm scared to tell him about the seventh and what had led up to me losing my apartment.

I know my dad loves me, he just had a habit of being a hardass about life. I think I might have taken after that to a point. But when it comes to that part of my past, he acts like I should have been able to defend myself. I had tried, fear intervened. I feel like I failed him again..
If you cannot overcome the current, then let the current take you. Only one certainty is sure, that the future is unknown. the river may be harsh, but still obeys Life's laws. The rest is up to you

#432588 - 04/27/13 02:25 AM " [Re: SonOfaSoldier]
lbcali1978 Offline

Registered: 02/16/12
Posts: 217

Edited by lbcali1978 (04/29/13 06:14 AM)
They said

Come home

I said

I'm confused and alone

They said

We understand

I found out they don't

I'll walk the path exactly how I've always done it


#432744 - 04/28/13 04:27 PM Re: I need some advice.. sorry if in wrong section [Re: SonOfaSoldier]
sugarbaby Offline

Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 382
....he acts like I should have been able to defend myself.

My H's parents did something similar. I believe it was more of a way to deflect their own feeling of guilt for not protecting him. It seemed it was a pretty tough pill to swallow for them, and I would imagine most parents, but time (four years actually) seemed to help them work through that.

#432776 - 04/28/13 11:02 PM Re: I need some advice.. sorry if in wrong section [Re: SonOfaSoldier]
Airmid Offline

Registered: 12/02/11
Posts: 95
Loc: South
As a survivor married to a survivor...yes. Just yes.

My family denied like your father has, and I'm now no-contact with them because their denial kept re-victimizing me emotionally, along with other actions they've taken that directly placed my well-being and my family in poor situations. I needed (and still need) the distance from them until both my husband and I are healed more.

My husband's family avoids and talks in generalizations. They talk 'around' topics. I don't blame him for not disclosing; he's blamed by their subject-changing, etc.

It could be their shame, or guilt, sure. All I can say (from the f experience in healing and from supporting my husband is: work on you. That's all you can do.


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